Inzane World: repeats and repeats and repeats....

the month is slowly crawling along isnt it?
day in day out, its work, sleep, eating, shop, walks, shop, work, sleep...
and on and on and on and on...
i remember calling paiville at the start of the year and complaining to her..
'i feel so useless.doing nothing with my life'
and she said 'rashi! its only January!'

so June is here, and July is around the corner.
what have i done?
final year with uni is under way.
driving test is nearing.
boredom is always present.
work is gradually building.
iam taking it all in.iam happy.
iam content.
iam good.
iam sensible.
iam doing all i can to make this life bearable.
i dont think iam doing bad.

Gosia told me today, she wants to have a baby.
she wants to get married, have a family and just grow old.
she said she wants all this because she is old.
she is 24 years old.
i told her why not earn money and travel the world.
she said 'i want someone to take care of me'

i suppose, there is nothing wrong with that. its sexist for me to say this, but i think its natural. women feels after a certain age (after getting married), they would be taken care of by their husband, and its the husbands duty to be the provider.

But, would i want that? certainly not. that is not me. Iam worrying to much about the future, its actually scary.
why is it scary? i do not want to regret.
all around me, people are regretting their life decisions.
'why didnt i complete school?'
'i should have learnt a skill'
'i shouldnt have done that'

i do not want, years down the line,sitting in some strange place i call home, regretting my youth life.
i should not be worrying about all this.
there are other people who are in a worse predicament.
i should not worry.

yes i shouldnt..
final term will be here in a jiffy
just enough time to pass the test.
and just enough time to spend my time with the big bro.

honestly, i worry myself to much.

to cheer me up, ive youtube-d a couple of live lounge sessions.
what is live lounge?
well, basically, radio one dj, Jo Whiley host this Live sessions.
they usually performs one of their own song, and the do a cover. its always a joy to guess who's gonna be be covering who....
bands and singers huddle up in a small studio in Maide Vale, performs, and gets praised.
win win situation isnt it?
some of the covers are brilliant, some just doesnt work.
listen,dont judge.

ps: my grammar today is absolutely dreadful!
i need sleep!