on an ordinary saturday!~

iam feeling very positive now..

i mean... brushing my teeth this morning made me realize... no matter how much i complain about my work, life, studies, it will never be better if i dont do anything about it.

sometimes its easier for us to blame people or to whinge about things than actually doing something about it.

called the family today, and its weird telling them our plans today.. and them telling that they're off to a wedding tomorrow.. that life seem familiar to me, eventho iam not living it...

i have a couple of summer plans, and iam crossing my fingers. i found my passion, travelling and iam not gonna let it go.

i made a promise to myself, go to places people dont go, fly to airports that people have never heard of. abit hard, since its europe and everybody has heard about all the possible tourist places here..

iam pondering more and more about life, and why are we here. its called growing up maybe. the brother told me he is moving house, and talked about furnishing the house. iam envious as hell, coz at this moment, there is nothing better than talking about making a place ure home. i have ambitions, and to achieve it takes time. iam not a patience person. i do expect things to come at a click of a finger, and when that doesnt happen, i get frustrated.. so, i have to be patience i guess..

the driving lesson is coming along slowly..and so is the studies.. whats wrong with it? its teaching me to be patience. no matter how good i drive, i still have to bloody check me blind spot heh!!

iam off to malaysia in september, for Eid. iam excited beyond words. why? coz i do miss my 3rd brother. i mean., yes, the others too.. but him, i miss.. he wasnt with us last yr when the others was here celebrating eid. and he wasnt with the family when we were in spain. it was sweet of my 1st bro to send him a barcelona postcard from msia itself. i guess this is how it is.. we depend on them when we were kids.. go off with our own friends when we were in our teens., and finally, find the family back again by your side when ure an adult. and this adulthood made me realize, it doesnt matter who i become, family is always by my side. i always told david, if i won a million dollar, i wouldnt keep it to myself. a house, bungalow mind u for each member of me family, pay off my brothers scholarships, pay off any credit cards they have, put aside some money for em in their banks, and splurge some on meself. a house, a car, a bloody room of manolo's, splurge abit on me girlfriends, and stash some in the bank.

i havent mention charity heh? well.. i aint gonna give it to them (boooooooooooooooooo!) instead, i will prolly build schools and clinic in villages that cant afford it. there are still some communities in msia that is having this problem. yes, malaysia, considered a wealthy country in asia. its a sad state in the world today.

its been a sobering week this week. i now look forward to small things in life. how relaxing its gonna be on 20th may. when the semester is finish and we are off to enjoy summer holiday.

iam growing, and iam happy.

iam happy.

iam positive.

iam happy.

yes, iam trully happy.

ps: i love spring, but the bees that are around is bugging me!