Who is....

call me ignorant.
but,
who the hell is Edward Cullen?

iam utterly confused, and it seems like he is the 'it' thing!!!

i know he is like, a fictional character or something, a vampire thingy story...

so, what? another book series craze that is waiting to catch on?
is this another 'harry potter?'
or lord of the rings?

its the weekend again.
god damm time does fly.
and i have a whole lot of things listed in my head.

laundry, thesis, assignments, research journals, work, clean room, sleep, drink water,
call family, xmas tree, white shirt, shopping, banking.

hell, i need sleep.

how have u guys been?
holidays? working? studying? lazing?

fill me in

its already sunday?

This makes my head spin.
how can it be, i felt like it was only yesterday i brought mum home from hospital (which was on Monday)
and now, i woke up to a realllyyyy white Sunday?
SUNDAY!!!!!
where has the week gone?

i tell u where?
working! :)
yes, working. i have ended my unemployment days.
i started on Wednesday and oh god, i was so nervous, its unbelievable!
thank god Marlene and Claudia was nice to me!
and yesterday, i started to get a hang of it.
Most of my friends said it will be fine, i have been on reception before, so this wont be any different.
yes it is.
The whole reception system is different, plus, the products, lay out and everything about this new hotel is different.
so yes, it is different. but, when u go with the basic (smile to each and everyone, and keep telling guest, have a good day) u will be out of the woods.

and the funniest thing that happened was, one of the managers told me he thinks iam a very quiet person. rite. i fooled him i suppose :)

but then i realize, this is me.
when iam in a new environment, i stalk.
i see how people are and slowly, i will come out of my shell.
Claudia saw my singing bit. this is what i do when no guest is around, and iam doing absolute mundane job like checking paper works.
well, i dont sing loudly, just to cheer me up.
for goodness sake, when u start work at 6.45am, u will need cheering up!

i love my new job. the place is absolute gorgeous!
and i cant wait for June/July, when the wedding season is ON!

*smiles*

rite, back to assignments then.
*pukes*

Mums out of the woods,

one day gone, 6 more days to go!
this is a tough week!
i have been very naughty indeed this past weekend, i havent even typed ONE sentence in my assignments.. so my goal is.. urgh, unrealistic?
no, it shouldnt be.
i have another 10 days to go till the end of the month for the 2 assignments!

c'mon!

well, mums doing fine.
she was bit wonky and high when i got her home, but once the tea was consumed, it was all good!

ps: hams, where's the holiday picture? any huge bunnies?

i havent been honest,

This week is going to be a BIG week for me!
Iam starting a new job on Wednesday, but most importantly, 2morrow..
i need to be a grown up.

Mum is off to have a small operation, something to do with her 'wonky' shoulder.
so, i need to drive her there, stay with her, and see if she would need to be stay in the ward for the night.
Its grown up stuff because, at this moment in time,
i realize, its only me and her.
and when then, its just me that she is depending on.
i dont have my brothers to sort out things, heck, i dont even know what iam gonna do if she is staying overnite in the ward and me home alone for the nite.
scary.

but its okey, iam gonna be strong, and iam gonna be responsible.
because, iam the only one she have.

plus, i think its time we take care of the parents.
the day of them waking us up, sending us to school, collecting us from classes, sending us to tuition, bringing us to the doctors and washing our laundry is long gone.

iam a grown up.

ADULT.

rite, i can do this.. or, issit possible, iam just abit scared for her?
iam bit scared to wait in the hospital while the operation is going on.
what if it took longer than an hour? will my mind start thinking of terrible scenarios?

its ok.
i can do this.

Woke up this morning....

For the past few days, i have been feeling restless.
well actually, its been happening ever since i came back from my October holidays.
u see, when i was home, my brother bought the whole boxset season for 'The sopranos'
say what?
yes, the sopranos. now u see, when he told me, i was like.. ewwwww.. i dont like that drama!
and he just continued watching it, late nites and early mornings.
but u see, he was on holiday too, and BAM, 10am in the morning.. the dvd will be switched on.
me and amma will just sit there.. thinking.. 'aiya.. if u cant beat it, join in'!

so.. all was fine till all our schedules was getting abit different..
after Eid, he was back to work, i was out late nites and amma.. well.. she was in all the time..
so she was watching it without us! the cheek!

all was fine and dandy till i realize.. i have another season to go, and my flight was 2 days away.
amma realized she was in trouble too.. since she was busy with packing 'rempah ratus, zaman turun temurun'.

so we left malaysia without watching the LAST season of the sopranos.
which is the best bit i think!
so, we were back.. settled and ready to go back to our routine..
then the urge to find the DVD set.
now, i went over to HMV, like a freaking maniac, looking and searching,
VOILA.
got it..

got home.. put it on, with a cuppa and a cake.
phew.
oh wait!
this is only the FIRST PART of the last season!
theres part 2

aarrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
thats it. this cant do.
so, with the blessing of having Internet at home.
ive just completed an online shopping sale.
:)

there is nothing like it....

and now, my life is complete.

so, in order not to feel guilty about having a marathon of the sopranos this weekend,
iam gonna add another 1000 words to my assignment today!
nothing will stop me!!

because.. tomorrow nite.. iam out partying..
and that, i cant feel guilty about!

when rain is all you see,

I woke up with the most dreadful weather, ever!
but thats all i do, complain about the weather..
and it never changes.. so why complain...

I had a good day today.
i have finally decided that being lazy is a no no,
so i decided to start on my assignments..
u see, i have set a target.
finish 2 assignment by the end of this month,
and star thesis on December, completing it by January
its all fine and dandy to set target, but i should actually start doing something..
so today i did.
i found a topic for one of my assignment, work out an outline for the whole thing, and started on the introduction..
300 words achieve, many thousands more to go.
but, slowly but surely..
This being the last semester, i do not want to screw up.

So, i feel kinda good. motivated.
positive.

I then rewarded myself with watching strictly come dancing.
Gorgeous gorgeous dresses, lovely dance moves and iam totally in love with jive!

i have always told myself to take dance classes..
so, since my 2008 resolution has been achieve, iam making some 'goals for 2009'

go to dance classes. any dance classes. wait, 2 of these dance classes. Jive or Quickstep.
Start my travelling adventure.Visit paivi, anna, amy, hams, shamini. Might go back to malaysia,
Start moving up the corporate ladder.

oh. which reminds me.
ive been banging on and on and on bout not having a job rite?
well, i have accepted an offer to work in a hotel. Gorgeous scenery and goddammit! iam in love with their interior!!!
and also, this unemployment phase and thought me that, u will HAVE to knock 10 doors before one opens up for u.
for my case, four did.
even big names hotel chain.
I woulda accepted their offers, but the one that i took, was much more practical.
I love it! it was the job i was gunning for, and i got it!
*clap clap clap*

so, in 2 weeks time, life for me doesn't exist, again!
bring on the assignments then!

ps: iam looking at some old photos, and i have to remind myself, i have done things that people havent even heard of!
and that makes me sppppeeeccciiiiaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllll!

and then...

there are some days which are utterly fabulous! :)

and yes, karma rocks!

ps: amy, just one week!
deadline!! one week!

Mr Barack Obama.

Just a quick one..
congratulation for the changes that American did.
thank you.
The whole world appreciate it.

But,
i have an itsy bitsy request.
let it rest already.
too much debate, rally and politics for a year.
so we need a change.
we dont need to see/hear bout the American election anymore.

Its time for Mr Obama to prove himself.
it will be hard, with tons of critics from people do dont want him there.
but, slowly but surely, changes will come.
and we, in the Europe cant wait.

Good luck and I wish u all the best Mr Obama.

This has been a good week for..

Self esteem.
Believe it or not, I dont posses enough confidence to go up a stage and star rambling on about politics, financial or even 'what i want to eat today'.
I think ive always been shy, so talking to people has never been 'ME'.

or so i thought.

Last weekend, we (me and my mum) got the random-est call ever!
It was her long lost friend/colleague and he said that he was in London and he wanted to visit us.
Sure enough, on Saturday he turned up at our door with his business partner.
so the whole day was about talking/joking/laughing/reminiscing!
we covered a whole load of topic and we talked till it was time for dinner!
I didnt think much of the whole thing until when we were talking.. he told me that he thought i have changed.

'u were so shy when i met u after high school, and now look at u! so confident! and u can debate about the European financial situation with me! a business person!make sure u keep my contact! i will get u internship if u ever decide to go back to Malaysia!'

I was flattered, not because of anything..
but because.. after all this year living abroad, i do know a thing or two about the world.

U see, sometimes, i wonder if i learned anything from this 'living abroad' experience.
Would i be able to be one of those people who drops the random-est fact or figures in conversation (i would love to be that type of person)
Would i be able to tell my friends 'yes, i did learn a thing or two about Kate moss Autumn wardrobe'
Did i grow as a person?
Did i change for the better?
And, you would never notice the changes in yourself. so to be noticed from someone who is not your bestie/friend/relative/brother/mother/family does wonder for your self esteem doesnt it?

and this is a dirty little secret.
I cant picture myself living in Malaysia anymore.
its painful for me to say it, even more painful for me to admit it.
And its even more painful since i realize, thats where 'home' is.
where ure family and friends will welcome u with no hesitation.
so, what do u do?

I also have been told that iam ALWAYS and scarily happy all the time.
yes, i often wonder why do i smile and think positively all the time.
maybe because, deep down inside, iam a worry-er (thats another dirty little secret)
i worry all the time about the most ridiculous thing (whats gonna happen to my leftover nasi briyani?), so to counter it all and avoid slitting my wrist every nite, i laugh and joke and smile.

and lets face it, we have enough doom and gloom to last us another century rite?

oh god i miss my family!