Inzane World

Give me a serious price? 100? euro? no? dirhams?

2009-07-13T04:49:00.003+01:00

Morocco was awesome-ness!

Iam still too tired to blog about it, since ive only landed about 4 hrs ago, ive unpacked but for some strange reason, i still cant sleep!Which is worrying because today iam off to sunderland, for my graduation ceremony tomorrow! oh god, please!

Too many jokes in my head, replaying over and over and over again.
I had such a blast, but the heat!! my god!!!
Pictures shall be up soon too, but who knows when!

and ive realized something.
Iam a luxury traveler.
nuff said.
shall elaborate more later.

'where u from? India? Pakistan? Afghanistan? Iraq? where where?'
'u like? i give u good price'
'oi oi.. u want henna? no? maybe later?'
'give me serious price, democratic price'

Sometimes, experiences like these teaches u about life.
teaches u about the world,
teaches u about your family,
teaches u about yourself
and mostly, it teaches u about humanity.

nite nite everybody

feeling anxious...

2009-06-18T00:32:00.002+01:00

oh wait,

Morocco drive on the right hand side?

oh oh, Em, i need to practice in your car! :)

and u can drive mine...just around the car park tho...

Iam feeling blue actually.. for no reason at all.
I keep saying i need a whole day of lazing around, and somehow when i actually do that, i feel sooo guilty for being lazy, so i make plans.. like.. loads of plans.
and jam pack it in one day..
i never learn..

anyways.. Friday is tranformers day. well, opening day anyway.
so iam off to the cinema. Saturday and Sunday is working day, and then!
one week away, is the arrival of the family :)

and then the week after that, Morocco!
god damm it, i need to buy a new camera.
my wonky one wont survive the trip iam afraid!

Btw, at the hotel today, was ascot lady day.
gorgeous summer dress and awesome hats!
when i grow up, thats who i want to be :)

but for now, i shall settle for awesome skirts and messy hair.

oh, haircut.
i. need. a . haircut!

i miss the family..

and bebecs, thanx for the girly day!
even if we overstuffed ourselves to the point of being sick :)
luv ya!

and it knocks you down...

2009-06-16T23:57:00.001+01:00

My girlies,
Have faith :)

Morrocco!

2009-06-10T20:13:00.002+01:00

I hate planning for a holiday.
the booking, and the googling just messes with my head.
even worse when ure doing it for ure family, i wish i have them by my side to help me make the decisions.
by god, how many hotels can u smack in one kilometers of sands?
1000 apparently.

ok, new tactic. pictures.
the more we like the pictures of the hotel, we shall stay.

one night in the dessert is a must.

Casablanca, ticked.
blue city, done.

ok, time to get a new camera, and a sat nav.

ive never seen my bank account so empty before.

iam as skint as ever, so i guess, its time to move some money around.
this is when u wish u had some long forgotten inheritance somewhere..

iam treating this family trip to morroco as my graduation trip too.
so iam indulging and splashing.
after all, money is money.
but holiday exprience, is once in a lifetime

my god, do i sound sickeningly positive or what?

The boy in striped pyjamas

2009-05-12T23:23:00.002+01:00

Realizing I cant possibly stomach another hour of day time telly, I decided to watch a dvd. I thought, iam not in a mood for something funny, or chick flick.. just something.. hmmm.. deep?

So I watched The Boy in Striped Pyjamas. Its one of those Holocaust related movie and i was like.. Iam bound to be sad, cry even. Ever since my trip to Auschwitz , everything was more real.. the sadness, the hopes that was shattered, the arrogance of the Nazi soldiers.. anyway, back to the movie.

It was one of those movie with ending so dramatic, i literally held my breath till the title rolled by! oh my god! the ending is NOT a Hollywood ending.. u know.. where everyone lived happily ever after.. no no no, it was nothing like that!

The story is about a boy named Bruno. His father was promoted as a general for a concentration camp. The whole family moved from Berlin to the countryside and Bruno had to leave his friends behind. At his new house, all there was were forest, his house and miles away a concentration camp. He could see it from his window and asked his mom ' why are the farmers weird? they seem to be dressed in pyjamas all day long'. Bruno is a keen explorer, so one day he explored the back garden, which led him to the forest and finally, to be concentration camp where he met Schmuel. Schmuel is an 8 year old boy too and they bond a friendship.. This is as far as i can say, because u do have to watch the movie!!!

But, common sense and Hollywood story telling would lead u to believe.. somehow.. bruno appeal to his father and ensure the safety of Schmuel and his family rite? or maybe the war ended and bruno and schmuel would be friends forever and everything would be ok. NO!!! nope nope nope.. not with this movie..

Iam on a quest to find the book. Apparently its been adapted from a book. aren't all the movies nowadays was originally a book?

I should be a writer.

May

2009-05-07T10:30:00.002+01:00

Its May 2009. I looked at the calendar and i cant believe April went by like a tornado.. I have to open my eyes now i think...

May promises to be such a good month.. Its Emily's birthday and sham is coming to visit!
so all in all, a promising month indeed. but then again, sometimes, when the expectation for the month is high, it usually pass by without anything exciting.. so, here's to me not expecting anything of May

Iam finally comfortable with shopping by myself. clothes shopping.
I was never the type of person who goes shopping by herself for the simple reason: decision making.
Sometimes, when u like something so much (a blouse, skirt, shoes) ure blinded by their beauty and never see the practical side.. gosh I know, iam not a shopaholic after all!
But yesterday after gym (yikes!!!!!!!), i decided its time to throw my work shoes and buy a new one. Iam telling u, finding for a comfortable yet stylish black heel is the hardest thing in the world! But i finally found 2, couldn't decided plus i know i will be wearing them every single day, so i decided to buy both (okay, maybe a little bit of a shopaholic).
Then, i saw a couple of tops. then, i was blinded by the beauty of a dress, so a friend woulda help me see the light at the end of the tunnel... sigh

Its my day off, so its dvd day today.
I got a couple of good ones during the week.. u know the ones.. the great movies u know u have to own since u will be watching it for the 1000000th time! Ironman, the dark night and the boy in striped pyjamas..

I think i need to re-arrange my bedroom.
Feng shui of the current arrangement is just.. blergh!
but holy crap do i need to unload a couple of things first..
I shall do a spring clean on my next day off i think..Chuck out all the old clothes, shoes, books.. i mean.. not chucking.. but offloading it to the charity shops.. mind u, i sitll havent offload the last load.. its still there in the spare room.. bags and bags of clothes and shoes.. oh god! get a move on!!!!!!

rite, lunch is approaching and there is nothing to eat...
its time for macaroni and cheese i think! :)

spring is in the air....

2009-04-24T00:13:00.002+01:00

SPRING

IS

HERE!!!!!!!!

I know i havent posted much, havent said much but there is this emptiness in my life which iam trying to fill. I am totally at lost. I thought i would be glad to finish uni and knowing there is no nasty exams or assignments to finish up. but i swear, i feel stupid and under-used. i somehow am starting to feel that work is actually.. hrrrmmm.. work?

ok, its the blues... one things for sure tho, the weather has been fantastic and i dont know, i think its time to do what i always wanted to do.. dancing class, Europe holiday, hell, even another trip to Thorpe park..

somehow iam glad at how different my life actually is since last year. because iam much happier, and iam doing things that i wouldnt dream off. like, deciding not to take the shortcut on my way back home from work just to make sure i would be able to listen to my favourite song on the ipod. and realizing its on shuffle, and it played an entirely different song.. songs i love, but not the one i wanted to listen to.. and going to parties alone. u know those kinda get-togethers,where the only person u know is the host. knowing myself few years back, i prolly woulda said, 'oh, i cant make it' but iam thinking, no regrets. do these things once in your life, because at the end of your life, you never want to ask yourself 'what if'

holiday. i want a holiday. i think its time i visit paivi, anna and hammy. because as faith would have it, sham decided to leave it to her last year to come and visit me.

faith. funny how things work.

'every song must end'

2009-04-11T22:38:00.002+01:00

I should start updating this blog..

but i cant be bothered.

not at this time of the nite, when all i can think of is starting that book that i bought ages ago, and left it on the bookshelf.

not when all i can think of is sleep...

i think work is draining the energy of me...I have finished uni, so work is all ive got. but if the motivation is not there, what do i do?
how do i pick myself up after a bad day at work?

i think, a new routine should be established!

wake up, rise and shine, smile and sing, shower and work. sleep :)

yes. thats life.. and oh, holidays :)

i wonder...

2009-03-26T18:37:00.001Z

I got an early surprise from Finland.
every year, my red gandalf always surprises me with a package posted from her hometown to my house.
and every year i open the package with a glee!
i love her gifts!!!!

so, what do i do?
do i open it now?
or wait till my birthday on Sunday?

wonder wonder wonder!!

iam gonna win sarah's sweepstake!

2009-03-23T23:05:00.002Z

'toooo many passwords causes confusion'

how freaking true.
i have to log in to an important web (no, nothing dirty, just to retrieve my result)
and for the life of me, i cant seem to remember what the hell is my pasword!!

holy frick on a stick!

'Throw those curtains wide'

2009-03-22T00:24:00.002Z

Elbow -One Day Like This
(Glastonbury 08)

This is why i absolutely adore live performance and live gigs.
and this is the reason i love music.
and this is the reason i love festivals.
and this is the reason why i love life.
absolute-ness

Elbow -One Day Like This

Drinking in the morning sun
Blinking in the morning sun
Shaking off the heavy one
Heavy like a loaded gun

What made me behave that way?
Using words I never say
I can only think it must be love
Oh, anyway, it's looking like a beautiful day

Someone tell me how I feel
It's silly wrong but vivid right
Oh, kiss me like the final meal
Yeah, kiss me like we die tonight

Cause holy cow, I love your eyes
And only now I see the light
Yeah, lying with me half-awake
Oh, anyway, it's looking like a beautiful day

When my face is chamois-creased
If you think I'll wink, I did
Laugh politely at repeats
Yeah, kiss me when my lips are thin

Cause holy cow, I love your eyes
And only now I see you like
Yeah, lying with me half-awake
Stumbling over what to say
Well, anyway, it's looking like a beautiful day

So throw those curtains wide!
One day like this a year'd see me right!

i think approaching 23 has finally made me sober..reality is hitting, hard
oh for f**k sake, cant i enjoy life?

2009-03-20T19:59:00.003Z

Happy birthday Hamsathvani!

You deserve all the great things in the world and i wish u all the happiness in the world..
Have a great day, not necessarily a party, but a nice celebration to usher in this new era

its a new phase of life isnt it adulthood...
much love!!

times like these makes me wish....

2009-03-17T13:21:00.002Z

iam full of beans today..
i mean, not that i ate a can of beans, but the weather has been perfect, i feel like jumping out of an aeroplane!
so i think its perfect day to do bits of shopping (what, again?) and have an evening of wii with friends.
yes, i think its the perfect evening!

first things first, i think i need to check the bank account tho.
and no, today's shopping session is NOT self indulgence!
instead, iam off to get gaby's birthday gift, mother's day card and work shoes (well, i dont count this as indulgence since we have to stick to boring black comfy shoes).

As i sit here typing this and planning my day, i feel somewhat sad.
i cant help but think of my besties in malaysia struggling with their test and assignments and life and i feel i should be there to cheer them up, but obviously i cant.

and this is ultimately makes me plan crazy weekend adventure with them, only to find the plan unfulfilled due to various reasons.

so, this time around ladies. no but's and if's
a beach getaway over the weekend in June.

rite, i ought to take a shower and get ready for the day!

cheerio!

after ages...

2009-03-15T01:27:00.004Z

As some of you know, iam now addicted to youtube-ing random videos..
well, who isnt? so.. here is.. hmm... 10% of the videos that i was watching pretty much today..

I havent heard this song for ages!
and this morning, i woke up with this song in my head. its weird how certain music just haunts u...iam sure ive posted this song before.. but hell, its tooo good to pass!

Sigur Ros- hoppipolla

Kings of Leon-Use somebody

I adore kings of leon. i adore this song and i love it even more when they do a live version.
somehow i think great bands sound better live anyway.
like oasis. wonderwall is classic.

and this tune below..
perks me up when iam driving to work in the morning...

Black Kids-Iam not gonna teach your boyfriend (how to dance)
yes, the title is a bit of a mouthful!

Bloc Party - The Prayer

Metallica - Enter Sandman

Keane - Spiralling

Duffy - Stepping Stone

Its 2am in the morning...

I need to do something more productive..
sleep.
yes.. i should head to bed now..

Oh good god!

2009-03-12T22:40:00.003Z

This is life!!
i went absolutely mental on Tuesday with Rebs on our shopping trip.
wait, actually, i was quite sensible most of the time. i purchased what i needed.. well, exclude the shoes, but hey, u cant have tooooo many pair of shoes!

AND!
I just got my results back!
hell yeah baybe! last minute studying and all those late nites on the lappy did me good!

*pats myself on my back*

slowly but surely :)

by the way, iam absolutely touched by the amount of people that keeps asking me what i want to do on my brithday or wat i might want as a present

thanx guys, but i swear, a simple card is enough for me, and a nice lunch on the green on a sunny day would be fantastic.
really :)

lets hope the weather holds up heh!

i spooked myself!

2009-03-08T23:44:00.002Z

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

this is so true, it really spooked me.

finished!

2009-03-05T22:49:00.002Z

T.I. Ft. Rihanna - Live Your Life

To tell u the truth, i dont like this song.
The numa numa intro just destroys this song for me.
but, i listened to the lyrics, and whoosh.

live your life.
i need to do this.
ive been keeping back, February was all about work and thesis.
i think the month of march just smacked reality and being 23 soon, i need to do something drastic.

so as a birthday celebration,
do any of u have any suggestions on what i should do? :)

Quick Update :)

2009-03-01T23:56:00.003Z

So, its Monday tomorrow.
i cant remember how i spent my weekend.
oh wait, i do.
WORK

nevermind...

its the final 4 days before submission day.
iam positive about it, two more chapter to go basically.
one of it is the conclusion, which i think is the easiest part..
:)

and i might just let some steam off by going out for a movie on Wednesday.
yes yes, will make sure that i work doubly hard on Monday and Tuesday tho! :)
just 30% of the work to go!
yiiiiipppeeeee!

okey, back on track,
you tube is ruining my life.
i stay up till crazy hours just youtube-ing videos.
its not healthy!

will update soon, when iam not busy..
well, maybe after submission heh? :)

have a cracking week guys!

2009-02-24T11:39:00.001Z

positive

positive

positive!

This 3 weeks will...

2009-02-18T23:46:00.002Z

This on coming 3 weeks of my life will consist of sleeping, working, eating and thesis writing.

Submission date: 6th march!

so, thats the target.
about 2 more weeks..
And iam liking the fact that word count is the last of my worries.
iam good in that department.
its the freaking survey and analyzing thats doing my head in.
fret not, iam meeting my supervisor for bit of help.

And iam liking it when the day just falls the way u plan it.
i might ask for extra days off this 2 weeks.
just so i can get on with the thesis and finish it off!

and after 6th of march, its like, i will be living a new life..

cross fingers!

Nobody said it was easy...

2009-02-15T04:12:00.003Z

The Killers - All These Things That I Have Done

Iam sure ive posted this video before, i cant seem to find it, but iam sure i have.
why?
because i dont know, this song lifts me up.
It gives me a nudge to move forward in life.
and it gives me a chance to reflect on my life.

I will be turning 23 this march.
Its not the big 3-0, no, but its pretty big for me.
23 is when ure officially an adult, this is when u get a job and start saving up for a house.
and i wonder am i on the right road?

More than that, will i ever go down that road?
Should i go down that road?
Oh, this bloody questions are a bloody headache iam telling you.
esp at 4.30 in the freaking morning!

while everyone is lost, the battle is won, with all these things that i have done

yes, all these things that i have done :)

i dont think my life is all that bad

besides, who said it was easy?

I've got it....

2009-02-14T00:24:00.002Z

Neyo ft. Jamie Foxx, Fabulous- She got her own

But its weird how i still find men being intimidated because i've got my own.

So again, music doesnt reflect reality.

*sigh*

Anyway, how's everyone been?
Hammy left me a week ago, and now iam nursing myself back to health.
I had a mmmmaaaaddd week of sickness and stye in my eye.
Yep, again, stye in my eye!
bloody hurts it does!

So it was a week of trips to the doctor, and just taking antibiotics.
Its Valentines day tomorrow, another day of 'getting rid of love stuff'
So love cards, love shaped chocolates, red roses are all out at full swing tomorrow.
And working at the front desk, i will be at the fore front of this day!
Iam sure by the end of my shift i'll be the most cynical person on earth!
well, its already happening..

It was a productive day today. i actually got started on my thesis. after abandoning it for ages!
iam feeling good!

so tell me, how have u been?

i cant believe it!

2009-02-03T02:42:00.002Z

Its hard to imagine and make sense of this!
We wish all year long that it would snow, and once it does,
whooossshh!
nothing works in this country!
the trains, bus, taxi service were all halted.
massive delays on the roads, with blizzards warning being flashed.

What is this?
and worse, it was in the forecast. we were told to expect snow showers this week ,
and still!!

but its lovely tho.. the white blanket, the silence, the adventurous walking..

its all fabulous!
when u know how to live life, its all fabulous!

Brighton...

2009-01-28T09:56:00.005Z

On Monday morning, we decided to be productive and drove down to brighton.

Trips like this gives me hope.
Hope that i would be able to do this for other friends i have promised to.
hope that my family would finally do a spot of picnic-ing.

Hammy wanted to treat herself by buying one of those big ass modern camera, so we got it.
like a kid on christmas, she opened the box, took out her brand new toy, and we headed down to the seaside for a spot of photography.

the day was spent eating, laughing, riding ghost train, laughing, posing, clicking, laughing and just all around fun.

drove like a monster, since i needed to catch dr.who (yes yes yes i know it ended million years ago. i never had a chance to catch it during the re-runs either!)

got home safely, and was happy at the photography results.

its things like this that makes me happy.
a good day out with my bestie, where there is no expectations for things.
because at the end of the day, thats when god suprises us with how good things can actually turn out.

Holiday with a difference!

2009-01-23T14:23:00.002Z

I cant believe she has been here for 3 days...
it feels like she's been hanging around the house forever!!

Greeted her on cold tuesday nite with awesome shaped balloons which deflated by wednesday morning..
went to work, came back to see her hanging around her 'temple', the computer...

Didnt do much for the next few days actually..
we went to watch slumdog millionaire yesterday and i have to say, i love the movie..
because that jamal kid (age 5-7 ) is soooo godddam cuuteeeee!!!
seeing him and the brother fight is as real as siblings can get!!!

and the soundtrack!
awesome!

we're off to the hairdressers today since i need a major 'surgery'!!!
its winter time, and its time to change the hairstyle!!!
Ham's gonna get her fringe done, and then its time for baking!!

this is a holiday with a difference!!!

but everything is made sweeter by the fact that we laugh at every single thing!!!

for you, a thousand times over

2009-01-19T11:41:00.003Z

i will always cherish our moments together.
not having our family by our side makes us appreciate the small things in life.
I will have her for 2 weeks, and i plan to feed, entertain, party, shop and chill with her.
i have no expectation. we havent decided on the places to go, to see.
no expectation.
why u say?
because with us, the plans never work.
we go with the flow, spontaneity is more us! :)

so who knoes wat's gonna happen in this 2 weeks.
all i know is, waking up every morning is much more exciting!

raddest commercial, EVER!

2009-01-17T16:31:00.001Z

its things like this that makes me adore commuting :)

3 mobile, eventho ure network sucks, but salute!

'Iam a movement by myself'

2009-01-17T02:16:00.003Z

Fabulous Ft. Ne - Yo Make Me Better

This song has been in my head for over a week now..
i woke up one morning and it popped in my head, and its still here..
its there when iam driving to work, its there when iam just about to go to sleep.
its bloody ridiculous..

I adore this new life that iam having.
theres improvement to be made (like actually signing up for that dance class that me and marl looked up) but iam generally having a good year..
i mean..yeah, the beginning of the year...

If i could fly to malaysia, it would be the cream on the cake tho.
I was driving home from our girly nite just now, and a significant song came on the radio.
I turned up the volume, sang my heart out (rebs was looking at me like i was bit crazy, thats normal tho) and all i could think off is the laydees back home.
the laydees that i promised i would chauffeur around :)

it seem much, but a promise is a promise.
even if mel wants to leave the club at 11pm.
i would do it :)

Early shift on saturday and sunday makes me happy.
this means great telly on weekends!! :)

and come tuesday, all gonna be good :)
the familiar face shall lighting up my winter

the big one...

2009-01-12T22:31:00.000Z

DONE

DONE

DONE

ONE MORE TO GO

YIPPPPEEEEEEEEEE!

yes, i do sing around the clock....

2009-01-10T22:52:00.002Z

Iam feeling alive today...
its such a weird week for me. i was dreading Monday (assignments submission date) and whoosh, its the weekend.
and goodness me, even more weird, its Saturday, and iam sitting here tapping away at the keyboard.

allrite, the 'alive' feeling came today, at 6.32am when i was driving to work.
I was driving along, and before me was one of the most beautiful scenery i have ever seen.
and no, its not an exaggeration.
Kent, is such a beautiful place i have to admit. the country side surprises u each and every season.
its winter (iam sure uve noticed bout my 'oh shit its cold' ramblings)
and its the frost that greets u every morning.
it was the same today, but somehow, it made it looks so beautiful.
iam not kidding.
it looked like it snowed, but nope, it was just pure ice...
all the leaves, branches, grass, roads. everything.
icy and white and pure.
even more amazing was the scenery from the reception area at work, at 9.45 am.
the sun came out, and the light just illuminated the whole grounds.
i saw the tree outside, and it looks different.
no more dying from the coldness, but looking alive with its branches colored in shade of white. i wish it would snow heavily one day and just cover the grounds with fresh snow.

I left work at 11.15 pm yesterday, and when i was walking to my car, i smelled the air.
so crisp, i wish i could just sit on a bench, with a book and hot chocolate. i really did.

i think thats one of the things i ought to do. well, after my exams anyway.
just sit on a random bench, and enjoy a good book.
and what a fantastic book iam reading right now.

the kite runner.
ive been bragging bout this book millions of time, and it never seem to disappoint.
I cant begin to tell you bout the brilliance of this book.
the movie disappointed me, but thats how it is with adaptation isnt it? one must give way to the other.
and u know with books, the first 5 pages should grip u.
its in those 5 pages that will determined the love that you will have for the book.
the characters in the book seem so real to me, its like, i have seen them walking down the high street. well, not really, its set in Kabul, so bit far from your typical highstreet.

but yes, this is why iam feeling alive.
one of the character in the book, Hassan, possess such devotion, loyalty and humility that it actually made me re asses my own life.
here is this boy, who is living a life which basically has been laid out by the society.
illiterate, just like his father, he is a servant.
what other things could he do but be a servant?
and it makes me wonder about all those people who are the same age as me, but in totally different circumstances.
Some 22 year old out there still depend on their parents.
some 22 year old out there is already a parent
some 22 year old out there will never be a parent
and some 22 year old out there, well, might note be able to live beyond 22

how did i get here?
and where do i go from here?

this 'life' questions always gets u, doesnt it?

its one of those life mysteries that no one will be able to tell u the answer.
u can get advice, but never an answer.
and it usually happens now.
when uni life is over, or u are just tired with the routine of life.

iam tired of juggling working and studying. the sooner uni life ends, the sooner i can actually re asses my life. and i hope to god, my life plan is a life worth living.

will I look back, and regret my life?
or will i look back at my life and say ' what a fantastic life'

maybe a 'i did the best i could' is sufficient enough

Wonky health!

2009-01-05T23:09:00.002Z

i havent been feeling well for ages now...
seriously.. when the hell am i gonna get better.
fine fine, mum would say, 'if u stay at home once in a while u will'
but then again, seriously, if i dont enjoy life rite now, i wont later will I?

2009 started with a bang and I plan for it to stay this way.
hammy is coming over in about 2 weeks time, so its alll good! :)
in the meantime, i need to finish the thesis, and be a good worker.
they're laying off people which is quite scary.
u might be next!
but hell, i might just go joker on them!

i miss my girls.
i do.
i miss my brothers.
i do.
and i miss the malaysian heat.
i do.

most of all, i miss my health
never ever take it for granted.

heh?

2009-01-02T00:43:00.000Z

2009?????????

holy frick on a stick, where the hell has 2008 gone to?

This is dull!

2008-12-29T23:08:00.002Z

I have been reading my blog post and goddam! since when did i sound so dull?
work, uni, sleepy,cold!
goddam! my life is more exciting than that! :)

well, i can actually tell u the reason for this.
and it is because, i do not possess the mental power to sit here and type drones after drones after drones of argument.
i simple do not have will anymore..
why?
i dont know.. blogging doesnt excite me anymore..
maybe because every single time i sit here and type, my head goes 'shouldnt u read that freaking journal and start to write up ure thesis?'

maybe..
just maybe thats why...

but folks, the end is nigh!

it is!!!
i have drawn up a strategic plan!
oh shit, i even sound like iam writing up my thesis...
no no.. hear me out!

tomorrow is the last day of assignments.
this include typing up the page numbers, printing it out and keeping em in a file to be submitted
31st of december is a rest day. like, hell, i dont want to start the end of 2008 doing work.
but as of 1st of january 2009, i shall religiously do my thesis for completion on 15th of january! :)
posiiittiiiveee!! :)

of course wedge into that are exams and work and normal daily routine like showering..
u know what i have always wish?
to have that computer system Stephen Hawkins do.
u know when he thinks of a word and it basically comes out on a screen.. i wish i could go around reciting my thesis, and magically, its on the computer!!!and prints on paper!
oh yeah.. its called a PA..
i wish i have a PA now..
bugger it.. i wish ive done with my thesis...

anyways good people of the blogsphere..
i wish all of u a fantastic 2009 and remember,

lollipops are nasty!

driving early in the morning give me a sense of purpose...

2008-12-24T01:56:00.002Z

sometimes i wonder why i laugh and smile so much.

i think its because, if i dont, i would be crying.

yes yes, life is tough.
but iam not gonna let me beat me..

but rite now, iam gonna go off for a good cry.

see u tomorrow :)

Merry Christmas everyone!

Weekend? what weekend?

2008-12-22T00:48:00.002Z

Oh lord, its unbelievable, but its already 21st December!
shit, time flies! like a rocket!

I was stopped by the police today.
what? do i look like a criminal?
apparently i do, thats y i was stopped... i just got back from work when it happened..
great, as if i need that...
work was.. hmmm..
good.. first shift alone!
blerrrgghh!

but its good..
i miss the laughter... and since it was sunday, so it was pretty quiet..
it wont be tomorrow tho..or for the whole week as a matter of fact!
nevermind.. i have 4 more days to work, till i get my triple day off! :)
oh. but no joy, since i have an assignments and one thesis to do!
crap!
nevermind..positive..
karma.. goddam it!
i need my good karma to get me thru this!

confession....

2008-12-19T01:28:00.001Z

dirty little secret:
i fear that i will never get married because iam tooo independent.

iam not ignoring..

2008-12-15T23:00:00.002Z

ive been bad.
I have to clear things up now prolly.
i am sorry if some of u feel like ive been ignoring u.
i havent.
i havent had the time..
i know its always the same thing.. 'busy'
but.. iam busy!

i promise.. come January 19th..
iam all yours :)

but u wont catch me January 20th..
my dearest hammy will be here.. and god knows whats gonna happen then :)

song of the mo'

2008-12-15T00:41:00.002Z

Iam loving the latest singles on the chart!
driving home after work, the darken roads and the music gives me serenity.
weird.
The song that is totally in my head is Kings of Leon's 'Use Somebody'
i cant embed the video here, coz its be disabled by request.
typical of Youtube!
blergh!

Beyonce 'If i were a boy'. that.. hmmm
i dont know actually.. i think its wrong for us to stereotype em boys as being what she said..
but then again.. its her words isnt it?

rite... so.. it Musical Sunday I guess...

The Killers - Human

Pink-So whAt
This song was out ages ago, but i only remembered to upload it today.
and goddam, the lyrics just.. thats me that!!!

The Fairytale of New York- The Pogues
You know christmas is here when the song is in the air

Damien Rice - The Blower's Daughter
This song has been haunting me.. forever!

Ray LaMontagne - Trouble
This song is pure heart..

THis next song.. well, it is in the UK top singles chart for 2 weeks running..
Its leona lewis, covering snowpatrols 'run'.
but for the life of me, i still love the original.
a tribute i guess.. not like they're breaking up or nething :)

Its been a journey this year.
December brings me memories, i guess with the new year approaching, i tend to tick all my resolutions boxes.
Been on a huge journey this year. i hop next year will be better.
i dont have any resolution for the year 2009.
just to graduate and prolly be a good worker.
and travel.
yes, travel. i havent been doing that.

As i sit here listening to luther Vandross... i wonder how many people are in my situation..
what situation?
This smiling face that i put on, hiding a really heavy heart.
Being happy for the sake of other, cheering up when people are down.
and looking at your own shoulder to lift yourself up... because the thought of asking somebody for their minute is just unbearable.
dirty little secret: i still miss my father.Losing him meant that i had to grow up.
but i dont really want to. and i resent the fact that i had to grow up before i knew the way of the world.
but i guess, things couldve been worse.
i couldve ended up having a horrible mother and brothers.

so new year resolution 2009: Let go of the grief.

have a fantastic weekend people!

............................................................

2008-12-09T23:41:00.001Z

TIRED!

MIND
BODY
SOUL

T.I.R.E.D

Some days...

2008-12-08T21:15:00.002Z

Some days i think i have it easy..
on some days,i think iam the hardest working student in the world..
on other days, i think iam just lucky to be able to talk, read, write, walk, drive, and do all these normal things human do...

so today, i feel like iam the most tired looking staff on pay-roll.
Doing an Early shift on monday morning is not easy.
the body is not use to dealing with monday blues.
but nevermind, i woke up and battled the ice on the road..

got to work everything was fine and dandy...
BUT,
the body is tired. i havent had a day off in ages, with 5 days of work and 2 days with uni things...
nevermind, battle on...
so when somebody said to me 'oh cmon, smile!'
that ticked the hell out of me.
i smile every single second of the day, and at some single moment i didnt, its one of the managers that caught me looking glum and he made that statement.
piss off.
really.
piss off.

and my workmate told me she is scared of the owner (he was walking around today, so everybody was super efficient)
i told her 'bugger it. i know he pays me,but i work for him. so the respect should be mutual'

this is the one thing i do not understand about hotel owners.
ive seen a few of em, and god dammit!
they are such miserable soul!

lighten up!
yes, i know its a business and credit crunch is all the rage,
but when ppl see u a wee bit happy, they in turn will be happier!

i will not have my own hotel.
not if iam turned into one of 'them'

i will have my own company tho.
where the uniform wont ride up, and u can wear colourful shoes! :)

i wonder how my friends are coping with the working world...

oh, its cooollllddddddd!

2008-12-02T22:54:00.002Z

there's ice everywhere.
and little dotty is cooollllddddddd...

issit a little bit weird that iam scared that my car gets cold at nite, so iam thinking of buying 'her' a 'blanket'?
i know.

I am weird.

oh my god..

2008-12-01T00:21:00.003Z

A few days ago, the world woke up to nasty news coming from India.
Terrorism struck, and iam now left wondering with questions.

What happened finally? i know the hostages were freed.
but what about the terrorist?
Who were they?
How did the operate in such massive scales.
how many people were involved?
one thing that struck me about the hostage situation in the hotel was...
There they were, in a luxury hotel which looked like they had like what.. 10 11 floors?
so, if u were on 4th floor or summat, cant you escape by the fire exit? i mean, taking the lift was just plain stupid coz all the lift in the world has that annoying 'ping' sound thingy when the doors were open.
and if the terrorist did hold up the whole hotel, how many ppl were involve? i doubt there was only 5 terrorist holding up a 400 bedroom hotel.

and then it hit me, what if it happened at my work place?
at that moment, i started listing out my exit routes, and i find myself doing this every single time i hear about a catastrophe that has happened in the world.

so, the week ended with such massive questions about humankind.

and next week will be 'numb' week.
A whole week of, working, university, working, sleeping, thesis, working, university.

nevermind, 3 ore months till the end of student life :)

Who is....

2008-11-29T00:49:00.002Z

call me ignorant.
but,
who the hell is Edward Cullen?

iam utterly confused, and it seems like he is the 'it' thing!!!

i know he is like, a fictional character or something, a vampire thingy story...

so, what? another book series craze that is waiting to catch on?
is this another 'harry potter?'
or lord of the rings?

its the weekend again.
god damm time does fly.
and i have a whole lot of things listed in my head.

laundry, thesis, assignments, research journals, work, clean room, sleep, drink water,
call family, xmas tree, white shirt, shopping, banking.

hell, i need sleep.

how have u guys been?
holidays? working? studying? lazing?

fill me in

its already sunday?

2008-11-23T12:27:00.002Z

This makes my head spin.
how can it be, i felt like it was only yesterday i brought mum home from hospital (which was on Monday)
and now, i woke up to a realllyyyy white Sunday?
SUNDAY!!!!!
where has the week gone?

i tell u where?
working! :)
yes, working. i have ended my unemployment days.
i started on Wednesday and oh god, i was so nervous, its unbelievable!
thank god Marlene and Claudia was nice to me!
and yesterday, i started to get a hang of it.
Most of my friends said it will be fine, i have been on reception before, so this wont be any different.
yes it is.
The whole reception system is different, plus, the products, lay out and everything about this new hotel is different.
so yes, it is different. but, when u go with the basic (smile to each and everyone, and keep telling guest, have a good day) u will be out of the woods.

and the funniest thing that happened was, one of the managers told me he thinks iam a very quiet person. rite. i fooled him i suppose :)

but then i realize, this is me.
when iam in a new environment, i stalk.
i see how people are and slowly, i will come out of my shell.
Claudia saw my singing bit. this is what i do when no guest is around, and iam doing absolute mundane job like checking paper works.
well, i dont sing loudly, just to cheer me up.
for goodness sake, when u start work at 6.45am, u will need cheering up!

i love my new job. the place is absolute gorgeous!
and i cant wait for June/July, when the wedding season is ON!

*smiles*

rite, back to assignments then.
*pukes*

Mums out of the woods,

2008-11-17T22:10:00.002Z

one day gone, 6 more days to go!
this is a tough week!
i have been very naughty indeed this past weekend, i havent even typed ONE sentence in my assignments.. so my goal is.. urgh, unrealistic?
no, it shouldnt be.
i have another 10 days to go till the end of the month for the 2 assignments!

c'mon!

well, mums doing fine.
she was bit wonky and high when i got her home, but once the tea was consumed, it was all good!

ps: hams, where's the holiday picture? any huge bunnies?

i havent been honest,

2008-11-16T22:13:00.002Z

This week is going to be a BIG week for me!
Iam starting a new job on Wednesday, but most importantly, 2morrow..
i need to be a grown up.

Mum is off to have a small operation, something to do with her 'wonky' shoulder.
so, i need to drive her there, stay with her, and see if she would need to be stay in the ward for the night.
Its grown up stuff because, at this moment in time,
i realize, its only me and her.
and when then, its just me that she is depending on.
i dont have my brothers to sort out things, heck, i dont even know what iam gonna do if she is staying overnite in the ward and me home alone for the nite.
scary.

but its okey, iam gonna be strong, and iam gonna be responsible.
because, iam the only one she have.

plus, i think its time we take care of the parents.
the day of them waking us up, sending us to school, collecting us from classes, sending us to tuition, bringing us to the doctors and washing our laundry is long gone.

iam a grown up.

ADULT.

rite, i can do this.. or, issit possible, iam just abit scared for her?
iam bit scared to wait in the hospital while the operation is going on.
what if it took longer than an hour? will my mind start thinking of terrible scenarios?

its ok.
i can do this.

Woke up this morning....

2008-11-13T13:33:00.002Z

For the past few days, i have been feeling restless.
well actually, its been happening ever since i came back from my October holidays.
u see, when i was home, my brother bought the whole boxset season for 'The sopranos'
say what?
yes, the sopranos. now u see, when he told me, i was like.. ewwwww.. i dont like that drama!
and he just continued watching it, late nites and early mornings.
but u see, he was on holiday too, and BAM, 10am in the morning.. the dvd will be switched on.
me and amma will just sit there.. thinking.. 'aiya.. if u cant beat it, join in'!

so.. all was fine till all our schedules was getting abit different..
after Eid, he was back to work, i was out late nites and amma.. well.. she was in all the time..
so she was watching it without us! the cheek!

all was fine and dandy till i realize.. i have another season to go, and my flight was 2 days away.
amma realized she was in trouble too.. since she was busy with packing 'rempah ratus, zaman turun temurun'.

so we left malaysia without watching the LAST season of the sopranos.
which is the best bit i think!
so, we were back.. settled and ready to go back to our routine..
then the urge to find the DVD set.
now, i went over to HMV, like a freaking maniac, looking and searching,
VOILA.
got it..

got home.. put it on, with a cuppa and a cake.
phew.
oh wait!
this is only the FIRST PART of the last season!
theres part 2

aarrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
thats it. this cant do.
so, with the blessing of having Internet at home.
ive just completed an online shopping sale.
:)

there is nothing like it....

and now, my life is complete.

so, in order not to feel guilty about having a marathon of the sopranos this weekend,
iam gonna add another 1000 words to my assignment today!
nothing will stop me!!

because.. tomorrow nite.. iam out partying..
and that, i cant feel guilty about!

when rain is all you see,

2008-11-09T01:50:00.002Z

I woke up with the most dreadful weather, ever!
but thats all i do, complain about the weather..
and it never changes.. so why complain...

I had a good day today.
i have finally decided that being lazy is a no no,
so i decided to start on my assignments..
u see, i have set a target.
finish 2 assignment by the end of this month,
and star thesis on December, completing it by January
its all fine and dandy to set target, but i should actually start doing something..
so today i did.
i found a topic for one of my assignment, work out an outline for the whole thing, and started on the introduction..
300 words achieve, many thousands more to go.
but, slowly but surely..
This being the last semester, i do not want to screw up.

So, i feel kinda good. motivated.
positive.

I then rewarded myself with watching strictly come dancing.
Gorgeous gorgeous dresses, lovely dance moves and iam totally in love with jive!

i have always told myself to take dance classes..
so, since my 2008 resolution has been achieve, iam making some 'goals for 2009'

go to dance classes. any dance classes. wait, 2 of these dance classes. Jive or Quickstep.
Start my travelling adventure.Visit paivi, anna, amy, hams, shamini. Might go back to malaysia,
Start moving up the corporate ladder.

oh. which reminds me.
ive been banging on and on and on bout not having a job rite?
well, i have accepted an offer to work in a hotel. Gorgeous scenery and goddammit! iam in love with their interior!!!
and also, this unemployment phase and thought me that, u will HAVE to knock 10 doors before one opens up for u.
for my case, four did.
even big names hotel chain.
I woulda accepted their offers, but the one that i took, was much more practical.
I love it! it was the job i was gunning for, and i got it!
*clap clap clap*

so, in 2 weeks time, life for me doesn't exist, again!
bring on the assignments then!

ps: iam looking at some old photos, and i have to remind myself, i have done things that people havent even heard of!
and that makes me sppppeeeccciiiiaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllll!

and then...

2008-11-07T00:38:00.001Z

there are some days which are utterly fabulous! :)

and yes, karma rocks!

ps: amy, just one week!
deadline!! one week!

Mr Barack Obama.

2008-11-05T18:08:00.002Z

Just a quick one..
congratulation for the changes that American did.
thank you.
The whole world appreciate it.

But,
i have an itsy bitsy request.
let it rest already.
too much debate, rally and politics for a year.
so we need a change.
we dont need to see/hear bout the American election anymore.

Its time for Mr Obama to prove himself.
it will be hard, with tons of critics from people do dont want him there.
but, slowly but surely, changes will come.
and we, in the Europe cant wait.

Good luck and I wish u all the best Mr Obama.

This has been a good week for..

2008-11-03T13:15:00.003Z

Self esteem.
Believe it or not, I dont posses enough confidence to go up a stage and star rambling on about politics, financial or even 'what i want to eat today'.
I think ive always been shy, so talking to people has never been 'ME'.

or so i thought.

Last weekend, we (me and my mum) got the random-est call ever!
It was her long lost friend/colleague and he said that he was in London and he wanted to visit us.
Sure enough, on Saturday he turned up at our door with his business partner.
so the whole day was about talking/joking/laughing/reminiscing!
we covered a whole load of topic and we talked till it was time for dinner!
I didnt think much of the whole thing until when we were talking.. he told me that he thought i have changed.

'u were so shy when i met u after high school, and now look at u! so confident! and u can debate about the European financial situation with me! a business person!make sure u keep my contact! i will get u internship if u ever decide to go back to Malaysia!'

I was flattered, not because of anything..
but because.. after all this year living abroad, i do know a thing or two about the world.

U see, sometimes, i wonder if i learned anything from this 'living abroad' experience.
Would i be able to be one of those people who drops the random-est fact or figures in conversation (i would love to be that type of person)
Would i be able to tell my friends 'yes, i did learn a thing or two about Kate moss Autumn wardrobe'
Did i grow as a person?
Did i change for the better?
And, you would never notice the changes in yourself. so to be noticed from someone who is not your bestie/friend/relative/brother/mother/family does wonder for your self esteem doesnt it?

and this is a dirty little secret.
I cant picture myself living in Malaysia anymore.
its painful for me to say it, even more painful for me to admit it.
And its even more painful since i realize, thats where 'home' is.
where ure family and friends will welcome u with no hesitation.
so, what do u do?

I also have been told that iam ALWAYS and scarily happy all the time.
yes, i often wonder why do i smile and think positively all the time.
maybe because, deep down inside, iam a worry-er (thats another dirty little secret)
i worry all the time about the most ridiculous thing (whats gonna happen to my leftover nasi briyani?), so to counter it all and avoid slitting my wrist every nite, i laugh and joke and smile.

and lets face it, we have enough doom and gloom to last us another century rite?

oh god i miss my family!

U know winter is near when...

2008-10-31T16:20:00.002Z

iam sick!
not with life..
but sick as in..
headache, body ache, fever, migraine and all round not feeling good sick.
its a sign, i know.. oh i dont feel like seeing anybody this weekend!!!

mum told me we're doing a bit of a 'makan-makan' this sunday for a couple of people..
so called late raya thingy..
the menu is superb, obviously because i came up with it :)
but u see, with this fever.. i dont feel like waking up in the morning!

ah.. it will get better..
wont it?

Down memory lane...

2008-10-29T00:35:00.002Z

KRU - Ohh! La! La!

KRU - Awas!

KRU - Mengerti

KRU feat DanceKRU, Elite & Indigo - Fanatik

KRU - Di Dalam Dilema

KRU - Negatif

This is what i do before going to bed.
Gosh, how the music scene have changed heh?
but then again.. music that we grew up with is sometimes the best thing of all

Imagine....

2008-10-28T23:59:00.002Z

I was watching something that i knew would hold my attention and my tired eyes..
It was a documentary styled interview by Alan Yentob titled Imagine.
Artist for this episode was Jay-z.

I cant claim to be in love with Hip Hop or Rap,
I cant claim that i rhyme for money and i come from the street,
and i cant claim that hip hop is the music of my life, thus refusing to listen to anything else.
those who knows me, know that, i rock out hard too..

The reason i was sooo fascinated by Jay-z was, this fella, who came from Brooklyn projects rise to be one of the most talented and powerful player in hip hop and without a doubt, music industry.
I wonder, does he have self-doubt?
I wonder, what does he think about before he sleeps?
I wonder, what does he think about when he wakes up in the morning?

I like him. I adore him. I think he is a fantastic role model and no doubt, his clothes.. BLING!!
(thats me attempting street talking :) )

And he holds a special place in my heart because.. the first record i remember memorising the lyrics to was his song 'Can i get a'
I was desperate for Glastonbury.
Ive been wanting to go since i step foot on England, but circumstances didnt allow me..
it was the same this year..
so there i was, at home.. watching him play the gig of his life..
and i think he succeeded.
and Noel Galllagher looked like a rite plonker..
He brought hip hop to what is essentially an English festival..

I know this clip is over-used.
but iam posting it anyway..
because, i happen to think, this is the best opening ever!

For a boy who came from the projects, i dont think he did badly at all.
i love how he portrayed (or the docu editor) himself.
he knows what he wants, he gets it..
I wish i have his vision.
i wish i take more risk..

all this risk talking before going to sleep aint good.
i will start evaluating my life, and thats not something u do before falling asleep.

ah, forget it.
lets talk music.
i have been totally out of touch with the latest music offering actually.
i havent been listening to the radio, and when i do, its the same ol drab thats been playing over the summer.
maybe there's a lack of new music.
maybe, i havent been away for THAT long :)

When i grow up,

2008-10-26T15:56:00.003Z

Have u ever felt the anticipation of doing the most simplest thing in life?
like.. really feeling all happy and giddy, knowing u will finally get to see that old time black and white movie, knowing u will get to Starbucks in a couple of minutes to drink em awesome ice-blended, or stepping into marks & spencer to purchase their yummy chocolate marble cheesecake.

Iam asking this for iam as excited as a bunny since i will be sitting down with a cup of tea and read the ginormous newspaper that we bought.
Sunday paper..yes, Malaysia has their sun/times/mail with all em supplements.
But nobody does supplements magazines with their Sunday newspaper like the English.
Holy macaroni!
Talk about extras!
thats like.. to keep u busy for 3 or 4 hours.. and iam not kidding!
U cant read the newspaper while watching the telly, no, or while eating ure breakfast.. NOPE!
It needs ure full concentration...
so, iam switching on the radio (Uk top ten, since i feel soooooo outdated with the on-goings of the latest music ) and iam reading the world news like my life depend on it..
well, it does in a way.. since bloody credit crunch is affecting every-freaking-body!

rite.. so, have a fantabolous sunday!!

ps: oh oh oh, the end of summer time is here. For u people who think its 17.06pm, its actually 16.06pm! iam telling u, this clock changing thing just messes up ure head dont it?

Happy Diwali

2008-10-25T00:30:00.002+01:00

I am sitting here talking to hammy and seeing how happy she is to receive gifts from home just reminds me that, deep down, we all want to be remembered and appreciated.

I sometimes feel I am not appreciated, and i do things to make people happy, without them knowing how much trouble i have gone thru in order to help them out/to make them happy. I am not asking for a medal/prize/money.. I just wish that human beings would see that not all things are bad and not everything is gloomy. I then wonder and ask myself, 'why do u help out?' and over and over again, i would say.. 'imagine being in their shoes'

I talked to a Ezu recently about how we always put ourselves in the other person shoe...and this aint good coz we cant lash out on em! We feel the pity, we feel the sorrow and oh goodie, its all back to.. 'oh gosh.. what would i do if i was in his/her position'
and as ezu said.. 'i wish someday i could just stop being a grown up an do something unreasonable'

I am a people pleaser. This is something i have realize, and iam in the same boat with hammy. It aint good and it aint healthy! people tend to use u. but what can u do? when u do something for someone the basis of friendship, u cant do it half heartily. i know i cant.

but then again, i have had amazing friends that do things for me. Oh gosh! the amount of time they pull up at my house, bringing me out to dinner/party/days out/nites out/chill time and not once complaining about it! i mean, i have amazing friends!
and with this blog as a witness! next round of driving is on me..
now, if only i can convince my brothers to lend me their car...

i want to wish to all those who celebrate, HAPPY DIWALI!
it's the festival of lights, and may the lords light show u the way!

oh gosh, i can never be a good preacher!

ps: btw! why do soooooo many women find cockney accent sexy? Hold up, ignore that. Danny Dyer is definitely sexy!

Bowl of soup

2008-10-24T09:26:00.002+01:00

U know winter is here when all u want is to curl up warm and drink soup all day

*sigh*

iam not prepared for winter!
i have no boots!
and my summery curtain is still up!!!!

erh!
oh the plus note, winter means great telly ! :)

so,welcome winter!

as i drove around today..

2008-10-22T23:08:00.002+01:00

As i drove around (wooaaahh, finally!) today, i realize a couple of things...

people dont change. if they have been complaining the last time u see them, they will prolly complain about how the weather is the next time u see them. even if the weather has been perfect

I havent missed Autumn. when i was in malaysia, i was scared i was gonna miss the wonderful auburn, gold, chocolate colours of Autumn. but i havent. Some of the trees still havent shed their leaves, so its wonderful.

We have been getting some wonderful weather. the Sun is out, and its lovely.

People in sabah love their state and country more than the Semanjung residence. Everywhere u go u could see the sabah and malaysian flag. EVERYWHERE!

and i realize, sitting at home lazing around is more tiring than doing a day's worth of work!

and thats all the realization for today.Please come back for more, on another day.

Good Nite!

ps: oh paivi, david changed his email!
contact me so i can give it to u! :)

Flying Colours!

2008-10-20T12:37:00.001+01:00

'Well, rashidah, iam pleased to say that you have PASSED'

YIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

iam officially an adult now.. and my brothers have no reason not to give me their huge ass cars! :)

so folks, you have a driver from now on

isnt life just lovely!

Start the countdown!

2008-10-15T08:10:00.002+01:00

I havent updated for ages,
forgive me, but iam on a holiday..
a phase where everything is fast-paced, body clock ticking at strange hours, sleeping when u should be eating, and eating when u should be sleeping..
so iam blogging when i should be doing some work!
ah, work!

well.. not really work.. iam just helping with some filing of cases and mending the phone..
so.. basically, iam facebooking..
anyhooooooooooo
i talked to one of my oldest bestie yesterday, and the other one is visiting me on thurs! :)
fantastic dont u think?
From then on, its basically having quick meet ups with friends, packing.. and the dreadful flight..
and then its back to school!

HOW FUN!

so, how was Eid for u people?
how was school break,
and.. how was the first few weeks of strictly come dancing?

Scatttteeeeerrrrrr!

2008-09-21T22:25:00.002+01:00

i dont want to sound conceited..
but iam a fabulous friend!
hell yeah!

So the big bro has basically gave a warning.. he said to my mum..
'please tell ure daughter she doesnt need to go out when she's down.. just sit at home and spend time with the family..'
to which i reply to my mum..
'iam 22 and i can do what i want...'

rite, so.. u would think this is some kind of rift in the family.
its not. i understand what the big bro is saying..
but at the same time.. it made me wonder..
they let me loose till i was 22, and NOW they are setting boundaries?
that aint gonna work now issit?
bless him.. i will be at home more i guess...

so, today was such a productive day.. came back from work, then helped mum with her assignments..
which turned totally sentimental since we were listening to Eid songs..
last year, when the family came down for Eid here, i asked the 2nd bro to bring a raya album..
so he brought it.. all 100 songs..
there were some master classic such as...

'oh oh oh baliikkk kammmmpuunnngggg.. oh oh oh baliiikk kampunnnggg'
'dalam dingin subur ku something something something'
'selamat hari raya.. kepada saudara serta saudari.. setahun.. hanya sekali'

iam telling u.. its all up in me head...
but, here is something that's bugging me...
this racial issue that is going around malaysia...
let it freaking rest!
the only original origins (heh? makes sense?) is the aborigines!
not the malays, the chinese, the indians, the lain-lain.
So, will u just shut the hell up?
cant we just enjoy the rumah berbuka?

ritey o people.. have a good week..
and seriously,
Karma WILL bite u back in the ass!

Musical Friday?

2008-09-19T23:37:00.002+01:00

ritey o.
i dont even know if you people like me posting all this random 'songs of the week'
but hell, i like it.. and here is MY songs of the week...
and trust me.. some of this songs, i couldnt remember the band or the title of the song for the life of me.. so i turned to google.. and googled part of the lyrics.. god knows if its the RIGHT lyrics.. but somehow.. here they all are...

GYM CLASS HEROES: Cookie Jar

Kings Of Leon - Sex On Fire (Live At V Festival)

Iglu and Hartly - In This City

Ne-Yo - Miss Independent
i mean, the line.. she walks like the boss, talks like the boss!
i swear, he comes up with THE lines man! THE lines!

well, thats all for today i guess...
Internet being a bitch, and i cant load anything..
so.. a list of videos/songs i wanted to share with u people...

The Verve-Love is Noise
Flobots- Handlebars (with the funkiest intro EVER!)
Duffy- stepping stone
Glasvegas- Daddy's gone (which reminds me of 80's prom songs, but a good one!)
MIA- Paper Plane

Have a smashing weekend guys!

spur of the moment..

2008-09-18T15:09:00.002+01:00

today is panning out to be totally fabulous..
woke up, not worrying about getting ready for work, since i have the day off...
surf the next, yada yada yada... applied for a job...
then, called my hairdresser...

me: hiya, do u have any opening for either today or tomorrow?
Julie: how soon can u come?
me: 30 minutes?
Julie: yeah, well, i'll see u in 30 minutes then..
me: erh? ok! BYE!

so.. thats how it was today..
went to the hairdresser, (btw, i LOVE my new haircut)
then, on the way, walking back home.. stopped at all this gorgeous quirky lil shops..
obviously i bought things.. its all on SALE!!
such a bloody dangerous word...
bought some pins for me bag,
a belt, and
a bling-ed up ring

iam totally happy, since i had nothing plan today. just the usual lazing around..
but u end up hating ureself for not being productive.
so NOW,
iam off to laze around..
i have tons of dvd to watch..

star wars trilogy
OR
pirates of the Caribbean trilogy?

well.. to hell with it.. lets watch both!

oh wait,

2008-09-18T05:54:00.002+01:00

Conquiztador..
the worlds largest online trivia strategy game..
its addictive lemme tell u..
i find myself playing the game at 6am..

oh, this is what if feel like being an addict...

and another thing..

2008-09-14T00:11:00.000+01:00

i hate (with passion i might add) the new facebook layout!
with PASSION!!

the perfect saturday~

2008-09-13T23:53:00.002+01:00

i havent had a perfect saturday for a very long time i think..
its usually work day for me.. and the ODD (i mean.. once every 6 months) day off that i get, i usually makes a pig's ear out of it because i just laze around doing nothing, which makes me feel abit... like i said.. pig..
so today was a mixture of both.. activities and lazing around..
i went to homebase and sainsbury..
god damm homebase is a dangerous place for me.. within seconds of entering.. i clocked atleast 4 or 5 items that i had to buy..
i didnt, but this is just a nightmare for me.. i had a glimpse of my adult life basically..
i would spend my weekends going around to furniture/DIY shops buying a flurry of things that i dont need.. this means wasting money, god knows if i would still have the house by the time iam at the cashier...
sainsbury changed a hell lot.. for starters, they dont have one of those insert-coin-then-u'll- get-me trolleys.. nope.. its all freeeeeee.. and we went there about 11.. which was jam packed! didnt know so many people are awake that early.. we bought stuff.. and i found myself doing the mirror signal manoeuvre when i was steering the trolley down the isle.. hahahahahahahahahha!
got home and did some cleaning.. hoovering.. and doing laundry.. god knows i have loads of em socks lying around...
i read the newspaper, and watched GILMORE GIRLS!!!
YES!
gilmore girls! god that was ancient wasnt it?

and i've just realize.. how much crap they talk about.. i mean..
they cant just say hello, goodbye..
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
they have to hello.. what a lovely morning. do u know who invented pancake? u see.. the aborigines wanted some bla bla blaaaaaa blaaaaaa.. bllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
shut the hell up already
and then, i smack myself, since i find myself watching the next episode.. its a Marathon thing u see...
*sigh*

Strictly Come Dancing is back on..
i think one of em sportsmen are gonna win it, if not, jodie kidd or rachel stevens..
i love watching the first few episodes since u know a couple of them would be rubbish..
straddling along the dance floor, trying not to fall..

ive bought new indoor slippers.. candy coloured slippers.. which is not good, since i would always think of paddle pop when i see it..
u guys remember paddle pop? with that grossly small lion as its mascot?
oh paddle pop.. i wonder if they still sell it..
OHHHHH! one of those 10cents ice cream.. just the normal cordial flavoured ice cream in plastics.. ASSAM flavoured! oooooooohhhhhhh

a trip down memory lane..

have a holy sunday guys!~

oh the sun is out...

2008-09-11T10:26:00.003+01:00

Johnny depp as RIDDLER!!!!

now, thats legend in the making!

It just doesnt feel like it...

2008-09-09T19:28:00.002+01:00

I usually bake cake or cookies during Ramadan....
i usually do it around 6am.. till 9am.. then sleep till 3 or 4 in the evening..
then i would wake up, and *phooft!*
its time to break fast!

i mean.. thats how life should be..
but now.. since i will be flying home for Eid, i dont need to be baking.. i mean.. not here atleast..
so my days are utterly boring.. and soooo UN-festive!!!
work is the only thing that keeps me sane, and even that drive me up the walls on some days..

and mother is still going on about all the things we have to buy before flying home.
which is such a hassle, since i seriously cant be bothered going around, finding things that people *would* like..
isnt it easy if they tell u what they want? and u go out and get it?
nevermind.. be patience...

so. its been a boring week..
iam giving training to a would-be receptionist.. and its Gaby! :)
its boring because the weather is bloody awful, and the phone rings just twice in 8 hours!

nevermind.. positive thinking..
ive finish with my CV, in the process of sending it out..
so, cross fingers everything should be alrite..
even if its not.., it doesnt matter..
i'll just do what other 22 yr old do.. sit at home and bum around :)
no biggie!

i smell cookies!
Waitrose Chewy Chocolate Chunk cookies is heaven..

I have a couple of cookies that i would like to bake for Eid.
one of em is quite easy, and fattening.. its the Nut cookies!..
u know.. some nuts, butter sugar.. and voila! done!
thats my specialty.. i remembered selling it to relatives...
Oh, and cakes!
Iam baking 3types cakes this year!
one 'French flourless chocolate cake'
one 'tea cake'
Two 'Madeira cake'

pending :
one 'Moist chocolate cake'

thats an awful lot of baking to be done..
nevermind.. positive

u see, iam liking this karma thing...

What is it about Weddings?

2008-09-05T12:42:00.002+01:00

I wonder what is it about weddings that make people go absolutely bonkers!!!
I mean, i dont think my family did when we had 3 of my brothers wedding...

Its still the wedding season over here.
eventho the weathers is absolutely shocking, people are still attending garden weddings or castle weddings...
so its absolute mayhem everywhere.. people do come up to u and ask if the hotel has any safety pins/socks/belts/cuff links/shoe strap/wig (yes! wig!)
u can see the divide too..
the guys usually gets ready early and sits outside (when the sun is out) with a pint in the hand, joking and pointing at who is gonna come back not remembering anything from that day
the ladies usually arrive just at the nick of time, then scrambling back up to their rooms, looking for earring/camera/purse/hats

and the next day.. its true..
ALL of them wakes up late.. just in time to catch breakfast.. and groggily say to u..
'good morning'
morning, how was the wedding last nite?
'fantastic.. very nice.. i couldve done with much less booze tho..'

and u know they had a fantastic time

Oh, also.. stay away from ebay!
no really.. its bloody addictive, and it sucks the money out of u like a leech!
DO NOT click on the website.. especially when one is bored..
yes, iam talking from experience..
bored on monday...
bought about 7 dvd's.. the latest films, with the cheapest price around..

and.. i bet my money on this..
the next batman movie..Johnny Deep will be playing JOKER!

I never knew how much i would miss apples but now that iam fasting,helen's apple seems to stare and whispers to me.. 'u know u miss me'

*sigh*

cuuuubbaaaaannnn
'hai mambang tanah, mambang air, mambang epal, mambang nasi ayam'
cuuuubbbaaaaaaannnnnn

After much badgering..

2008-09-04T10:23:00.002+01:00

well, after much fuss being made by my friends, i have decided to put one of those box chat thingy.
really, its just to satisfy people's request!

anyway, this week is shaping up to be such a drag.
its raining non-stop, iam finding it difficult this ramadhan to fast!
The day is like.. never ending.. and about 7pm.. ure tummy just really want to gorge something..
and u know u gotta wait..
doing the L shift is not as bad as doing the E one....
U wake up about 3.30am to eat, u cant sleep after that since u KNOW u will not wake up..so there i will be..
eyes all wide open.. waiting for it to be 5.30 so i can get ready for work
Straight into work at 6.30am where all u can smell is bread! lovely gorgeous smell of bread...
and u shift ure focus to accounting.. which makes ure head hurt..
u go home.. try to sleep of ure hunger and headache
its still there, so u watch some period drama.
It makes ure head hurt more since ure trying to get ure head around the language used..
yes, i know its English.. but with meaningful quips on the simplest conversation, really, u dont need it..
u need something hilarious..
so u turn the telly to watch the Simpson..
u find ureself falling asleep.
BUT NO!
u have to start dinner..
and after a whollleeeee looooaaadddd of challenges, ure breaking fast.
10 minutes later.. u say..
'i will never eat this much ever again'

This is my life..

and the SAME routine goes on the next day.

iam not complaining.. just.. musing?

hows ure ramadhan going for u?

This is bloody ridicolous

2008-08-31T21:36:00.002+01:00

I have no idea why i put that as my title...
just musing myself i guess..
so, how was your weekend?
all good in the hood?

Talking about weekends...
Yesterday was such a brilliant day, i think i might cry with joy..
Worked the Early shift, then went off to the town with the 2 girls..
Went shopping, and i realize i have non of those shopaholic compulsive behaviour i once had..
and i realize that my taste has dramatically change..
and i have no desire what so ever for shoes! *gasp*
but boots on the other hand..
well..thats just love.. i have to get one tho, winter is fast approaching, and my winter clothes is either 5 yrs old and mouldy or its just lost, no where to be seen..
The girls meanwhile had a wail of a time spending their money..
we made a scene in a shop, trying out this ridiculous Halloween costume, but really, the shop owner actually loved it coz there was more customers in his shop :)
silver lining u see..

Dinner was fantastic, and since we had to head home, we asked the waitress to help us out with packing our chocolate fudge cake to take away :)
thanked her, and of course, left her with a pretty good tip.

It was hot.. i was fried..
Head home, watched Batman forever that was on telly..
Mum came home from the malaysian merdeka celebration..
and she bought all em lovely 'kuih' from the stalls!!! :)
wooohhhooooooo.. say goodbye to cravings...

all in all, such a good weekend with the weather being top notch.
it wont last...i know this for a fact..
as i type this, a storm is brewing..
when i look out of my window, all i can see is fog...

iam completely addicted to Taio cruz's She's like a star.
remix version...
and ive been having all this weird dreams.. was it something i ate?
Oh, and iam fascinated by the 11.11 theory..
okey, it was brought to my attention by my boss..
he told me that he often glance at the clock, and it was always a sense of deja-vu since its always 11.11
he googled it (like u do, when u cant explain something) and there was all this theory surrounding 11.11
Iam intrigued...Google it for yourself and let me know what u think..

oh and also..
Happy Ramadhan...
:)

have a banging weekend!

This is the Dalek...

2008-08-29T22:41:00.002+01:00

With all the disappointments in life..
atleast i started this week with a bang..
it was the Hospitals Annual August bank Holiday Fete.
What happens on this day?
Well, the local hospital organize a fete in order to bring some money in..
so they sell stuff..
arts, clothes, books, food...
Local traders open up stalls and sell stuff cheaply..
i mean CHEAPLY.
i went to a stall, it was the local vintage shop.
got a MONSOON top for 50p! 5 freaking 0 cents!
and then got a cardigan for a pound!

but that wasnt it..
the highlight of the day wasssss...

well.. lemme tell u the story from the beginning..
we went around looking at things.. and spent most our time at the book stall.. i mean.. hardback for 50 pence! that was just.. heaven..
browsing and browsing.. and then i heard..
EXTERMINATE em books..
EXTERMINATE em books..
turned around and it was..
A DALEK!!!
DR WHO MORTAL ENEMY,
the DALEK!!!!!!!
propa hoovering around the fete!
DAAAAMM

I mean, i was anticipating the Doctor to pop up and say..
u aint gonna trouble em locals r u daleks?

yes yes, impossible.. but hey.. a dalek was in front on my eyes..
shit i sound like a freaking sci-fi geek!
what that hell.. prolly iam!
but that was the best fete EVER!

took out the camera for a picture.. and OF COURSE the camera ran out of battery..
this is common for me..
just ask any of my friends!

so.. this weekend..
mission : get a new damm camera! :)

have a good weekend ya'll

what doesnt kill you, only makes you stronger. I should be incredible hulk then...

2008-08-27T23:33:00.002+01:00

'What goes around comes around'
Iam a believer of karma.. the examiner failed me on the stupidest ground ever.
i protested, it could take months for my appeal, what the point?
i would be able to re-take it earlier than that.
i wonder if god is telling me something.
How does she go on with her life? How can she sleep well at night?
To fail a student is one thing, but to intimidate me to the point that i just wanted to crash the car towards oncoming traffic?
I swear i thought she was Joker-ess.
But believe me.. if i she her on the street, i would go 'JOKER' on her in a split second.

Then i started having negative thoughts..
Was she bias?
Was i unknowingly discriminated?
I would never know.
but to accuse without evidence is just...not worth it.
after saying it tho, i saw the test centre passing grade..
only freaking 44% of the applicants pass annually.
now, that aint good..
oh, and i talked to the other girl that was taking a test, she failed..
13 MAJOR fault!
iam surprise the examiner didnt stop the exam
God knows mine tried...

I came back home, laughing.
because i really believe, if i didnt, i would be on my knees crying.
I never failed anything in my life (well, add maths was a whoolllleeee other thing)
And to be failing the basic of life skills is killing me.
and u know what?
IAM A FUCKING GOOD DRIVER!
ask my instructor, my mom, my bestie (eventho we went berserk for a second thinking the cops were chasing us :) )

and now, in my head
over and over again.. clearly written 'if first you dont succeed, dust yourself off and try again'
in my case its.. again and again and again and again..

i need music.
so.. the latest obsessions..

Biffy Clyro - Mountains

Bloc Party - Mercury

Bright Lights - Matchbox Twenty

Taio Cruz ft. LL Cool J - She's Like A Star ( Dj Joe Def Remix)

Keane - Spiralling (Radio Edit)
Trying to get a dl link for this song has been horrendous!

nitey nite everyone...

250th!

2008-08-24T10:21:00.002+01:00

i would love to write something witty
i would love to write something funny
i would love to write something edgy, inspirational and motivational.

nah....
the weather is dreadful,
Olympic is over
and
driving test is less than 2 days away.

Hey, smile tho
Persuaded the bro to let me drive his Hilux, even if its illegally.
The joy of older brothers.
I have missed my family tremendously, especially my sis-in law.
She flew to the US the last week i was home, and i missed her the second i woke up the next day
U see, the thing is, i grew up with 3 older brothers.
Never had a sister, so, this was a huge thing for me.
I needed help in the clothes department, since the wardrobe has ever known jeans and t-shirt.
and i love the girly things we do like making desserts, and all the shopping trips we do.
I miss the family.
And i miss the 3rd brother too. i havent seen him for ages, and raya without him last year was just... incomplete..
never mind.
cheer up!

the cake recipe is in hand, the cookies and all packed up, and the 'raya' light is wrapped up ready to be put up!
OOOHHHH!
and the fasting month!
heaven!

the weekend is here? really?

2008-08-23T13:17:00.003+01:00

holy macaroni!
the weekend is here?
where have i been this whole week?

the memory of this week is such a blur..
work, baking, Olympic, sleeping.
is that all?
i guess it was

so, bring on next week :)

oh oh oh, the Olympic is over tomorrow.
sad sad sad.. i quite like waking up in the morning knowing there will be some events where someone might crack/embarrass//cry over :)
its all good..

here's to a cracking weekend!!

Pray to the lord...

2008-08-21T00:37:00.002+01:00

I just heart the most heartbreaking news today...
An aeroplane crashed in Madrid barajas airport today, killing atleast 40 people.
Well, they havent found out the definite number, since they're still tryin to get bodies out.

holy crap.
iam a frequent flyer.. i mean.. i dont fly everyday, but i fly quite a lot for a student.
U know u fly to often when u figured out which security line to avoid and which coffee shop to get ure flight snack (yes, i get snack before flying. esp for long journeys.. i mean, i cant get in-flight maltesers, Daily Mail, walkers crisp, and my absolute saviours, kit kat!)

back to the horrific stories.. not much info has been told, since the authorities are trying to figure out what/why/when it all happened.. they're still tryin to identify people.. all they know is.. there was 160 passengers and 6 cabin crew.
god bless them. its horrible, and i hope the best for everyone.
imagine the families!

talking about family, i missed my family abit to much today..
and i actually teared.
ah.. sappy crap all over again!

make a joke quick!

Real life insurance claim (taken from businessballs.com)

I had to swerve the car because the lamp post jumped rite out in front of me!

Going to work at 7am this morning I drove out of my drive straight into a bus. The bus was 5 minutes early

The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind.

I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.

I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the hood. I realized the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket.

Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo.

The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car

In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

Didnt it put a smile on ure face?

Nitey nite!

Ps: u wanna know how i found this online?
me, being an idiot, started to surf on tips on passing driving test. one thing lead to the other, and at the end, i was laughing at how stupid human are sometimes! Google it!

i miss em...

2008-08-16T00:14:00.002+01:00

I miss their laughter, i miss our late nites, i miss planning our weekend a week in advance.. i miss out picnics.. i miss our chats.. i miss our analyzing session.. i miss planning for our holidays..

i miss them...
but as paivi said.. every Autumn, we get this feeling..
Me and paivi were in Spain this time last year..
and the year before.. well.. it was just parties every weekend..
Elastica! i will be in Poland again..
we will windsurf! :)
Paivi, i will milk the cow and drive the tractor..
i dont know when.. but one day i will...

and iam happy that i know more about Finland.. not just 'the country where nokia is based' and poland 'where they eat pickled onions, and nazi invasion'

thank you for showing me culture :)

oh!!!!! autumn just sucks!

iam thankful for friends like this...

2008-08-15T18:26:00.002+01:00

this is a sappy entry..
i would like to thank all my friends who have been supportive!
the first person who i had to tell about my resignation was miss paivi.
For it was her who gave me the inspiration..
u dont have to earn loads of money and miserable..
u can earn just enuff, and enjoy ure life..
and i think this is what iam doing..

it was weird that some of my friends were surprised i made this 'sudden' decision..
it wasnt sudden.. ive thought of chucking my job away long time ago...
but i always felt that i should just stick it out till iam done with my degree
i cant.. as i said before.. if u find ureself cursing just before stepping into your office, its time to let go..

some said iam the sensible one.. some said 'hey! good for u'.. some said.. 'hey! why?'.. some said.. 'ok.. as long as ure happy...'
so.. i might be stacking shelves for the next 5 months while iam in uni..
but hey..
iam good at stacking shelves..

Life changing stuff...

2008-08-14T23:12:00.002+01:00

Today, around 6.45 am in the morning.. i made a life changing decision
i was working, something probably triggered it.. but i just thought..
i cant do this anymore..
i dread going to work..
and i always said to myself.. whenever i find myself dreading/hating/resenting going to work, i would analyze and change the situation.
talk to the boss, eventho he is banking on me changing my mind..
but if i dont do it now, i will probably never do it..

few hours later.. i was listening to radio..
UK is in a state of frenzy at the moment because the A-levels result is out..
so there was this chix who called the radio station who told the dj,
she got good result a couple of years ago.. went to uni.. drop out on her 3rd year of medic..
went on to brake off with her fiancee, and just.. life was pretty murky..
then this song came out on the radio..
and she said..
'i felt better'

i listened to the song..
and now..
iam feeling better..
iam smilling..
so.. if first i dont succeed, dust myself off and try again :)
yes, try again.

Maximo Park - Apply Some Pressure

'what happens when u lose everything?
u start again, u start all over again'

Iam beggin' you..

2008-08-12T17:27:00.003+01:00

okey!
i promise.. this is the last video for.. hmmm.. the day?
this tune was in my head for a week before i found out the title and the artist!
its sooooo funky, u WILL be able to do the funky chicken dance..

Madcon-Beggin'

So, my day off is tomorrow..
and the order of the day is to sleep, olympics, sleep, lazing, laundry, sleep, olympic!
thats it.. that is all im'ma do..
oh.. and a spot of shopping :)

iam loving my purse!
cheap bargain from accessorize!

ps: is tellytubbies still on the telly?

She's like a star!

2008-08-11T21:50:00.003+01:00

now.. the first time i heard this song..
i wouldnt in a million years guessed it was Taio Cruz.
then i heard the vocal..
welll.. sounds like him..
and when i saw the vid! i was!
wooaaahhh!
it was Taio...

caution: u WILL be humming this the next day! and there is this 'crazy frog' like voice as background.. u WILL be annoyed by it.. but u cant help but fall in love with the song

Taio Cruz-She's like a Star

i have this sickly feeling...

2008-08-10T18:08:00.002+01:00

so..iam free styling today..
errrmmm.. yeah..
what i actually want to say is.. iam just going to randomly babble and blog unnecessary things!

first up, i love how people react when i answer their question of
'so, where r u from?'
i will tell them malaysia.. and the next predictable thing is...
'ohhh.. kuala lumpur.. lovely! why did u leave the sunny country for England?'
i said...
'because i love the rain' :)
and it is true...i do love the rain!
and it rains every bloody day!

and TEA!!
nothing beats a good English tea
okey okey.. u guys r shouting
oy oy oy, what about teh tarik?
well.. i do miss it.. but.. hmm.. the sweetness of it kills me sometimes...

I think we all should keep politics out of the Olympic..
how would the British government like it when protesters march around protesting about the Iraq war when Olympic 2012 is going on?
Yes, the Chinese government are evil.. but they have been brilliant in my eyes this year.
the earthquake hit them earlier this year and they swoop to action as soon as possible.. lets not forget how 'efficient' America was when hurricane Katrina happens..
but we kinda forget that dont we?
i should keep quiet now.. i might be a prisoner of politics!
The Olympic opening was brilliant, but i was kinda disappointed with the lighting of the torch..
i mean.. yeah, it was a hell of a job 'running on air around the stadium'
but i was dead hook on the idea of a dragon coming out and firing the Olympic torch!
i can see some of u guys agreeing with me!

iam obsessed with Saddam Hussein family all of a sudden..
this bout of obsession started 2 weeks ago when a drama was shown on telly..
its basically a 4 part drama on the Saddam Hussein family..
all the gloss of their lives were shown, and iam just waiting for the last 2 part on how it all gone wrong!
i didnt know this until i read wikipedia that Qusay's son was with him when the american troops were shooting their hideout...
a mere 14 year old guy going thru all that!
crazy!

oh oh! i just got HELLO magazine on my hand!
this should be brilliant!!!!
a whole 138 pages of celebrities life!
*yawn*
the ONLY reason iam reading this is because iam bored out of my skull
and no, i didnt spend my own money on it
its a hand me down magazine..
Iam starting to believe that i was Mr Monk in my previous life..

and i believe that iam s good friend..
toooo good of a friend sometimes..
well, we will see heh?

Musical Friday!!! Its only bloomin friday!!!

2008-08-08T18:09:00.003+01:00

yes, iam cheating!!!
iam posting billions and billions of videos so u will never notice how bad of a blogger iam!!
but these are the songs iam currently listening to!!!
and reminiscing to!

The Script -The Man that can't be Moved, - Live In Dublin

I meant to post their first single months months months ago.. but hey..
its never LATE!

The Script - We Cry Live in Dublin

Sorry i couldnt upload the official videos!
Embedding was disabled by guest for some weiiirrddd reason!

neways.. lets soldier on!

I Kissed A Girl- Kate Perry
Lets face it.. EVERYBODY is singing this!!!

Noah and the Whale - (Live Glastonbury 2008) - Five Years Time
Proves that telly advertisement is sucha marketing tool for a band!!!

Ida Maria - I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked

Rihanna - Disturbia

Coldplay - Viva La Vida

I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemies eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing:
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"

One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt, and pillars of sand

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can not explain
Once you know there was never, never an honest word
That was when I ruled the world
(Ohhh)

It was the wicked and wild wind
Blew down the doors to let me in.
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
People could not believe what I'd become
Revolutionaries Wait
For my head on a silver plate
Just a puppet on a lonely string
Oh who would ever want to be king?

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can not explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
And that was when I ruled the world
(Ohhhhh Ohhh Ohhh)

Hear Jerusalem bells are ringings
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can not explain
I know Saint Peter will call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world
Oooooh Oooooh Oooooh

iam ending this post with Coldplay because i think this shall be the iconic song for 2008.
The lyrics, for me, is powerful.
that's just it with them isnt it?
its em violins and lyrics that gets to us!

oh, maybe its just me!

have a good weekend tho guys!

I cant wait, for the weekend to begin

2008-08-08T09:58:00.002+01:00

well.. bless u readers for actually putting up with my whining..
so good news, i finally have something positive to cheer on!
well.. yes.. a bit of a bad news first..well.. u cant have everything..

so ive been ranting and raving about my practical test havent i?
well, it was suppose to be for last Tuesday..
BUT (yes, there's always a but isnt it?)
I got a call from DVLA (Driving agency) to say that my test has been cancelled!!!
imagine my anger.. its like.. its freaking one daaayyyyyy beforeeee!!!!
its like.. i went absolutely berserk the day before chomping my nails!!!
and all for nothing!

nevermind..
iam tough..
iam patient.. they said they will call me back in 15days to give me a new date..
so..imagine.. 15 days waiting for a call.. not even knowing when the test!!!!!
its ok..
iam patient!
iam tough

HERE is the happy news..
i got a letter from the agency yesterday and they gave me a new date!
26th of august!!!!
so.. about 18 more days!!! :)
yaaayyyy!!!
good luck to me!

On a completely different note..
i would like to rant and rave about the weather! (like duh)
Such a lovely weather yesterday, abit too hot but lovely!
so i did something quintessentially English yesterday..
i went off to have evening tea with scones and cake..
it was a lovely place.. we sat outside, and it overlooked the most gorgeous sight ever!!!
there was mountains and trees and forest!!!!!
and i could see it aaalll!!
i wanted to capture the gorgeous tea cakes, and lovely tea..
them *poof*
camera out of battery!!!

nevermind..
next time...

'I have brought you up for 22 years....'

2008-08-04T20:02:00.002+01:00

I having that disgusting cold sore thing on my gum that makes u go abit stir-crazy
so.. after rubbing salt to it (yes, say arrrgggghhhh!) for about 2 days and realizing that it doesnt work.. i asked me mum to get me bonjela..
ahhhhh.. bonjela.. that's childhood innit?
Iam sure most of u remember those clear gel thingy.. rub those on ure gum, u'll be hit by the cooooollll sensation!
so, got back from work to find bonjela in the living room.
Mum is sleeping, iam watching the telly..
then i realize.. the bonjela box..

'FOR TEETHING problems'
COMPLETE with a picture of a happy baby. ( i assume the baby is happy because his mum applied bonjela on his gum, when he is teething)

so in the morning i said...
did u realize u bought me teething solving bonjela?
mum: yes..
me: its not going to work la..i mean.. thats for babies.. its not powerful stuff.. i need some anti-bacterial stuff rite? coz of the cold sore..
mum: can use also.. its the same...
me: r u sure.. it was sooo goddam painful when i applied it..
mum: i have brought u up without poisoning u for 22 years...and NOW ure questioning me?

actually..
mum knows best...

do you realize how many times in our adult lives we question our parents?
my mum ultimate favourite quote is 'do u think i was born yesterday?'
and i realize.. once adulthood looms.. we assume that WE know best.
what we say is the right way, and they are just this ancient living being..
that is why i tell everything to my family.. since iam the smallest.. and they have been there and done that.
i never lied to them. it doesnt matter where i go, what i do.. they always know..
even the naughty illegal driving thing..

I have friends who tend to lie to their parents about their activities.. i dont condone it.. but i understand..
u see..
i have the coolest family in the whole wide world.
no really, i do.
ask my friends
unfortunately to them, going to the shops means risking being grounded for a year.
so, telling the truth is not worth it i guess..
but i suspect.. their parents know what their child is up to.
i mean.. its in their 'parents instinct' guide book.

and yes, before u ask, i have never been grounded i dont know how it feels.
and i hope i never have to...

i feel happy...

2008-08-02T01:03:00.002+01:00

I sometimes wonder if i make an impact on peoples life.
today, a couple of messages came, and most of em said that they missed me.
its nice to be missed, it makes u realize that people do think of u..
and when people think of you, you know u made an impact..
does this make sense?

I have a bit of a shocking news.
Today, i purchased a flight ticket.
where to?
Malaysia.
yes, iam going back for the 3rd time this year.
i think i miss the rendang during Eid.
I am officially broke.
I am positive tho :)
rendang during Eid is THE best thing in the world! :)

so, highschool friends, please, contact me.. a 'buka puasa' gathering is in order!

Facebook is being a bitch, so iam not able to post pictures up..
iam slowly doing it tho..
sad thing is.. facebook doesnt excite me anymore..
ic ant be bloody bothered adding the applications and approving it.. and sending request!
but, people seem to revolve around facebook these days..

today, i have witness a jerk in the making..
one of those.. 'i know it all' kinda boy.. he is gonna grow up to be a bastard..
u just wait and see
give him 5 years and he is gonna be an arrogant ASS!

okey, its waaaayyy to late at nite to be typing..
i have lost my will to construct proper sentence!
iam missing the family! HELP!

you know ure getting older when..

2008-08-01T00:58:00.002+01:00

I am invited to a party tomorrow..
but i dont feel like going..
am i getting old?

i think so..

*sigh*

bring on the reading glasses...

ps: obsession is not healthy.
pps: I am totally craving for scones with fresh cream!! blaaaaah! and its f**king HOT here!

Spillings!~

2008-07-29T13:13:00.002+01:00

i have so many things to share.. i have so many issues to let out.. i have so many ramblings to.. hmm.. ramble?
but the laziness in me is a monster.
i got home on sunday, its tuesday and iam still walking around like a zombie.

i want to talk about my holiday.
i have learned many things that i wish i knew beforehand.
i realize that not having a car is like.. death sentence.
i realize that i have the best family in the world.
i realize that i have the most understanding friends in the world.
i realize that, i also have friends who uses me,laugh at me when times are good, but walk out when the times are bad.
i realize that iam too nice to some, so i end up being step upon.
i realize that, iam strong.
i realize that iam funny :)
i realize iam too laid-back, to the point of being horizontal
i realize that no matter what, i have 2 homes
i realize people are not who you expect them to be
i realize things dont turn out the way u plan them, but if it should happen, it WILL happen.
i realize that, i know HOW things will turn out, but still i get disappointed
i realize, when there is a will, there is a way
i realize that i have some friends who will do ANYTHING for me.. but some who will do NOTHING for me..
i realize that, iam able to adapt to any situation
i realize that i can be sensible when i want to
i realize that ive grown up.
i realize that, now, more than ever, i want to get a place of my own.

and i realize, i miss so many things while i was on holiday.
i miss English tea.
i miss summer cherries and strawberries.
i miss my smoothie maker.
i miss baking
i miss my oven
i miss my bed
i miss my room
i miss my mom
i miss working
i miss dr.who
i miss my telly
and i miss my radio.

i shall post more stuff about my holiday.
posting pictures becoming such a hassle, my lazy monster just quips and say 'ah, forget it, lets watch some telly'

oh gosh i miss the telly!

Let me in on your secret..

2008-07-28T10:37:00.001+01:00

iam home
iam home.
iam finally home.

because things are the way they are!~

2008-07-18T09:18:00.002+01:00

iam loving office work since i get to sit here, facebook-ing, youtube-ing and just surf in the world wide web!
fine fine.. its not my real job, but iam taking care of the family's office, and its fun..
very legal, i get scared with every single call, thinking its the police asking me they need legal papers to arrest people!
iam crazy like that!

so, iam not sick anymore.
that good news.
and iam loving this holiday.. i get to do nothing.. and loooooaaadddsss of things at the same time.
weird i know.
i went to Malacca, my hometown. the reason i call it my hometown is because i was born there.
but its changed! i cant recognize anything.. well.. i could actually.. the petrol station near my house, the barber, the scary hospital..
and i had massive fun with my girls.. for them to actually stand my request was.. unbelievable amount of patience!!!!
and we were summat like a wildlife rescuer!!! because we encountered crocodile, snakes and cats!
its all funny!
tons of pictures.. but i cant upload since i have no idea where my cable!!!
ezu, if ure reading this!!! bring ure laaappppiiiieeee!!!!

i have the house all to myself, and the car tooo..
the devil in me tells me i should drive the car.. and ignore all em roadblocks around KL.
but survival instinct kicks in, and ive been a good girl.

iam hoping to catch the latest installment of batman with the family!
so, here's to another weekend.
never plan, and always expect the unexpected!!!

cheerriiooosss everyone!

All these things that i have done

2008-07-10T07:31:00.003+01:00

iam currently on a holiday.
started off with a bang, since i was up till 6am everyday talking...
then yesterday, woke up with the biggest headache/migraine in the world.
i actually felt like fainting, which scared the hell out of me.
i actually bailed out from a party session! thats how sick i was.
the family was actually worried, the 2nd bro fed me with drugs (calm down, it was just paracetamol) and the 1st brother suggested i went to the doc.
today is a brand new day.
the doctor is suspecting a viral fever, but still unknown.
this weekend is a short trip to malacca.
iam dead excited, since all of us are going.. i mean.. not ALL, but most of us.

i should make a vow to see and meet all em old friends that i havent seen..
so.. give me a shout, and we shall meet for a mamak session..
how does that sound?

i miss home... i miss my bed.. and most of all, i miss my telly..
and PLEASE!!!
under no circumstances you people should tell me what happened in DR.WHO finale!!!

I sit here and wonder, how worse can things be?

2008-07-01T23:49:00.002+01:00

'If first you dont succeed, dust yourself off and try again'

well, just by reading that, iam sure u guys guessed it, i failed my test.
iam feeling.. anger, denial, depression, acceptance.. and.. a whole load of nothingness.

i told to a couple of people around me, i dont mind failing if i caused massive accidents or putting lives in danger. i dont mind failing if i deserved to be failed.
but i failed on something so minor, i feel that god has been unfair..

'god throws things that HE knows you can handle'

work was shitty as well, since its the beginning of the month, so all the last month's financial things has to be done..
the moment i stepped into my bedroom, i stayed in a corner and just.. stare into nothingness...
the urge to cry is there.. but iam thinking.. why am i crying?
because i fail a test?

i feel like crying because in my head, ive let everyone down.
and thats just a shitty thing to feel.

'Things happens for a reason'

my body is just tired.
mentally, physically, and emotionally.
iam numb to the point.. when i accidentally banged my head on the wall, i felt nothing.

i need to find myself

i feel abit...

2008-06-30T09:53:00.002+01:00

i feel stupid.
i feel like i should be studying for the test tomorrow..
i know.. people are shouting at me saying 'its a practical test! u cant read books on those!'
true.. so i hope to drag my mums car out..
but the clutch is sooo scary..
so.. in me head.. this is what my motto is..
if i fail.. i just gotta re-do it!
and waste more money paying for the test.
so i will be able to drive one day.. i might be flat broke.. but at least i would be able to drive!
i still have today to end tho!
oh please just bring on the test!

so people.. cross fingers and pray for me!
i need all the luck in the worrrlllddd!

This is classic!

2008-06-25T18:51:00.002+01:00

so, we're in the era of the youtube.
this music video shows u how important.. heck, how we made these 'normal' people into mini celebrity.
personally, the history of dance guy is my favourite!!!

Weezer- Pork and Beans

Attack of the Orang Utan!

2008-06-25T13:06:00.003+01:00

well.. the camera actually worked today!!!
so here it is.
no, laugh
laugh ure heart out
i seriously dont mind.
we need to laugh.. the petrol prices are killing us, so we need some enjoyment.
laugh at the orang utan hair.
coz dammm!
dont i look like one?

i swear, DIY kit are just nasty!!

anyway.. hams.. have a good flight
will hopefully talk to u when ure in the airport!

but now, iam off to make me lunch.. :)
some mash, salad and sausages!
i loveeeeeeeee!

DIY botch job

2008-06-24T23:48:00.002+01:00

so,
in life i have learn quite a few things.
one of em, when ever ure bored, stay away from ure parents land line phones, and stay away from any DIY colourant or highlites kit.
u WILL, i insist, u WILLLLLL run a huge phone bill calling every single soul u know, and u WILLLLL do a botch job on ure hair.

i did them both.
i mean.. the calling every single soul i know.. i do em every week.
the latter one, yesterday.
oh boy, its so bad, even my camera couldnt be switch on to capture the horror of what happened. (thats another story all together!)

so yes, my hair resembles.. errrhhh.. i dunno.. lions mane?
i still have me black as the base. but all over the top.. its 'chocolate swirls'
thats what the box said!
but its more like.. goddam golden/blonde kinda thing!

so yes.. pictures rite?
i was up to it.. i was all excited to show the world WHAT NOT TO DO, when the camera just went.. *beep, beep, beep*
OUT OF BATTERY.
i know i know.. it does that..
well.. with mine.. it basically does it EVERY TIME i try to switch it on.
i have one of those re-chargeable AA batteries that goes in em.. and it doesnt matter how many days u actually charge em.. the moment u put it in the camera.. it still says.. low battery.
i even bought new ones..
i surrender...
i do..

so, imma charge me battery again..try and get the camera going.. and show the world.. what a crap hairdresser iam :)

happy days!

its me off day again tomorrow..
thank the lord i have no more dodgy DIY things laying around..
so, baking it is!!!

and i can have a lie-in! :)
heaveeeennn!

have a good day folks!

.......................................................................

2008-06-21T18:35:00.001+01:00

humankind are nasty species!!!!!

And she shines just like a star!

2008-06-20T00:29:00.003+01:00

iam cheating aren't I?
i just fill the post up by embedding loads and loads and loads of video.
but then again..thats what ive been doing.
digging up old videos on you-tube..
but.. this is the song thats in me head, day and night, 24-7!!!!

Neyo- Closer

i love this song, its edgy smooth rnb-ish...
people compare him to chris brown.
dont ask me why.. i mean.. yes they are probably the 2 players in the field rite now.
young, musically talented, dance-god,a hella good fashion sense and man, those beats, i mean.. it just doesnt make by itself.
but, after saying that, Neyo gig is much much much better than chris brown.
more substance than flash...
but then again, who am i to be saying all this?

Gossip girl is yummy-licious...
the clothes, to die for.
its sex and the city for kiddies... i mean.. modern world :)
but no one can take sex and city away from me! thats just pure love...
i miss sham.. i miss her laughing.. and saying.. shiiiidaaaahhhhh..

hams: good luck for ure paper tomorrow.
do not let history repeat itself.
and i cant wait to sit and chat with u about nonsense!! :)

i think i need to build up my immune system.
iam getting the sty in me eyes.. AGAIN!
and the body is aching as if i was just ran over by a monster truck.
and i dreamt of paiville and anna yesterday.
heh, thats me being random....

allrite then ladies and gents,
that me off to bed...

have a good, oh my god... was just about to say thursday!
but its ffffffrrrriiiiiiiiiiidddddddddaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!
WHAT? the weekend is upon us?
hell, that was quick wasnt it?

repeats and repeats and repeats....

2008-06-17T22:47:00.002+01:00

the month is slowly crawling along isnt it?
day in day out, its work, sleep, eating, shop, walks, shop, work, sleep...
and on and on and on and on...
i remember calling paiville at the start of the year and complaining to her..
'i feel so useless.doing nothing with my life'
and she said 'rashi! its only January!'

so June is here, and July is around the corner.
what have i done?
final year with uni is under way.
driving test is nearing.
boredom is always present.
work is gradually building.
iam taking it all in.iam happy.
iam content.
iam good.
iam sensible.
iam doing all i can to make this life bearable.
i dont think iam doing bad.

Gosia told me today, she wants to have a baby.
she wants to get married, have a family and just grow old.
she said she wants all this because she is old.
she is 24 years old.
i told her why not earn money and travel the world.
she said 'i want someone to take care of me'

i suppose, there is nothing wrong with that. its sexist for me to say this, but i think its natural. women feels after a certain age (after getting married), they would be taken care of by their husband, and its the husbands duty to be the provider.

But, would i want that? certainly not. that is not me. Iam worrying to much about the future, its actually scary.
why is it scary? i do not want to regret.
all around me, people are regretting their life decisions.
'why didnt i complete school?'
'i should have learnt a skill'
'i shouldnt have done that'

i do not want, years down the line,sitting in some strange place i call home, regretting my youth life.
i should not be worrying about all this.
there are other people who are in a worse predicament.
i should not worry.

yes i shouldnt..
final term will be here in a jiffy
just enough time to pass the test.
and just enough time to spend my time with the big bro.

honestly, i worry myself to much.

to cheer me up, ive youtube-d a couple of live lounge sessions.
what is live lounge?
well, basically, radio one dj, Jo Whiley host this Live sessions.
they usually performs one of their own song, and the do a cover. its always a joy to guess who's gonna be be covering who....
bands and singers huddle up in a small studio in Maide Vale, performs, and gets praised.
win win situation isnt it?
some of the covers are brilliant, some just doesnt work.
listen,dont judge.

ps: my grammar today is absolutely dreadful!
i need sleep!

Lupe Fiasco-Superstar

The fray-Hips dont lie (shakira)
you can hear towards the end, they're just mumbling em words!
hilarious!

the Hoosiers- LoveStoned (Justin timberlake)

Daniel Bedingfield-Somebody told me (The killers)

Newton Faulkner-Foundations (Kate Nash)

weeeeekkkkeeennnnddddd!

2008-06-14T21:03:00.004+01:00

we hope it would be sunny.
we hope we would get out of the house at 8.30 am.
we hope that we would go around Brighton and be home by 4pm.
We didnt get all our wishes, but the day was a fantastic day out.
got more than we bargained for.

played ice hockey, skiing,portrait making and car racing game. well, it was an arcade. so u guys know what iam talking about.
ate fish and chips by the sea, almost got attacked by a blooddddyy bird, trying to steal me chips away!
bought some fantastic clothes, damm, i got sommmeee good bargain!
found perfect sunnies for myself and the brother. well, i didnt really need a new one.. but hey, why not :)

it was a lonnnggg day, but a happy day.

how was your weekend?